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The Worst Good Day EVER!

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Today was both good and bad. The good part was that I got my wedding dress paid for and my bridesmaids dresses picked out! I was so excited about that! But other than that, the day just kinda stunk! I kept getting picked on by my own mother, I ate WAY too much at Five Guys restaurant and felt like a bloated cow, and to make matters worse, we went clothes shopping after that. Now, I like clothes shopping, but not when I'm with my sister. She's about half an inch taller than me, wears a size 3/4 and is just absolutely GORGEOUS! I mean, compared to her I look like a cow. Every time I go shopping with her, my self-esteem just goes straight down the toilet. I mean, she can't help that she's beautiful... she just happened to get the "better" genes in the family and I didn't. And my sister's totally cool, always telling me how pretty I am when she can tell I definitely don't feel that way. It just hurts. I try not to compare myself but how can I not? She's beautiful, funny, and has got everything in the world working in her favor. I'm sitting here, overweight, depressed, and having to fight my way through life because no one will just give me a break. Needless to say, I walked away from the store with nothing while she walked away with two new dresses that she'll probably never wear, and some other stuff. It just hurts after a while. I know I'm going to get back to looking like that one day, but right now, it just plain hurts...

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"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. ~Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RADIATESPIRIT 3/10/2013 8:51AM

    It's a tough feeling...I feel that way when I see the skinny minis getting bikinis, and I'm shopping on the same rack with my confidence sky high. Then it gets knocked down.

But it also humbles me in a way because there are times when I'm shopping with my sister, and I admittedly feel good about myself because she called me fat for so many years, and now she is heavier than me. So I get both sides of it.

It's a tough balance but you have just as much right to shop in any store, eat dessert at dinner, and walk down the beach in even a thong bikini if you so chose, as anyone else. If total strangers are uncomfortable with it, that's their problem, you're not here to make them happy.you're here to enjoy your life and your life with your future hubby emoticon

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GOLFGMA 3/10/2013 7:49AM

    I think you will find that as the pounds drop off your self esteem will rise. To me, your photo says you are already beautiful and you just have to believe it! Your fiance love you and you must celebrate that and enjoy this time in your life. emoticon

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JULESJET 3/9/2013 8:54PM

    I completely understand that feeling. My best friends have always taken me clothes shopping at "their stores" and I have never been able to fit into the sizes at those stores. And everything looks amazing on them while on me I look in the mirror and see a whale.

BUT! Both of us are working hard to become healthier and smaller. And we will look FANTASTIC and AMAZING! We will! And our sisters and best friends will go shopping with us while we turn into fashionistas!

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VTGIRLALUM 3/9/2013 8:13PM

    I totally understand. My sister has always had a good figure while I've always battled with my weight and self-esteem. However, there are things about you that she wishes she had, but she may never be able to tell you.
Here's what got me through growing up in a house with a really cool, but not so understanding, sister -- Next to God, your man thinks you're the greatest thing alive. He fell in love with you! Not your sister. So, keep planning that wedding and think about the first time he sees you in that dress! Think about how good you already look in it. It's harder for things to bother you when you can think about how good you feel in your wedding dress and how gorgeous he'll think you are on that special day!

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ISAVEDME80 3/9/2013 7:06PM

    Sweetheart you are beautiful and you need to look in the mirror every single day and tell yourself that you are.
Read the book.
Do you think I'm beautiful?
By Angela Thomas.
Its really healing and I think it will help you be more loving to who you are and that is a beautiful soul on the inside and the OUT.
My mom was my worst critic until the last 5 years of her life than she was my best friend. Tomorrow will be 2 years since she passed away and I would give anything to have my mom be at my wedding someday or watch me have kids, I know how much tit hurts to be picked at by someone who physically created you but you have to remember that even at her worst behavior she loves you the best she knows how. try and focus on the good things she is and has given for your life and look at everything wonderful that you are, a lot of that is because of your parents.
I'm not trying to make light of your pain I'm just trying to help show you that you are a beautiful person on the outside and from what I've read also the inside so it hurts my heart that you cant see your beauty in the way that you deserve to see it and feel it.
You deserve to feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, cause you are to so many people. Including that man of yours who is awaiting his fork lift.
Hang in there,it always gets better because God always promised us a rainbow after the storm.
love, chasity

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MOM2OR 3/9/2013 6:56PM

    emoticon Keep pushing yourself and work on the self-esteem...the pounds will follow!! emoticon You are beautiful, don't think otherwise.

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