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    LINEBACKER1968   12,752
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

Who Am I?

Friday, March 08, 2013

I started this journey to lose weight, maybe to find a part of me that got lost. I was looking at a picture from when I was in the army a 18 year old recent graduate of the U.S. Army Airborne School (A Paratrooper) 180 lbs of muscle. How Did that guy turn into this? It is not just the weight. That other guy or Kid wanted to be a lawyer and A preacher, but after the army, college, 4 years in law enforcement and minister studies I started to lose faith in all of it and somewhere in myself. In the bible it says the truth will set you free, the problem is what happens when you find your truth is not the truth at all. Everything that defined you is now gone. I realize that my journey is about more than the # on a scale. I have to also find out where do I go from here. Can people can I accept a former minister turned Atheist. I've lost a lot of friends sense I admitted I can no longer serve in ministry. Some thought I would return, but it has been 2 years sense I left. The only thing that has changed is I don't have the internal war raging in my head anymore. I am just not sure where I belong now or who I am. This is more than a weight journey for me as I am sure it is for alot of people here. This might not be of any use to anyone else but for me Talking about it lets me know I know what is what.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LIBBYL1 3/8/2013 9:01PM

  naming/identifying it is the first step..... No real friends desert anyone when they start to questions things. Though your questioning I am sure challenged them and they weren't ready to start deeply thinking about these issues. But your journey is a lonely one because essentially the questions/issues can only be dealt with by you. Just remember there are many of us on that lonely journey grappling with ourselves walking beside you.

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TXTOAD9970 3/8/2013 5:46PM

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