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    CAT-IN-CJ   59,706
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Funny for the day: What I Want in a Man

Friday, March 08, 2013

What I Want in a Man, Original List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2.. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7.. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5.. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6.. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep, doesn't fart in public
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6.. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

KEEP READING, THERE'S MORE BELOW

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl. Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTYKLAVER 3/10/2013 7:36AM

    Loved it.

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LADYBUG1943 3/10/2013 1:36AM

    I started laughing at the second paragraph, and didn't stop till the end. My husband is 71 and, though he's much more civilized that the portrayal above, and is a really good man... I do so relate! Thanks for the hearty laugh!

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KLMEIRING 3/9/2013 6:31PM

    Too funny! Especially as a single woman..... I can laugh wholeheartedly at this one. Thanks for the smile!

Comment edited on: 3/9/2013 6:31:43 PM

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ISAVEDME80 3/9/2013 2:02PM

    that is cute

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LYNNWILK2 3/9/2013 3:09AM

    LOL that is wonderful!!!!

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WALLAHALLA 3/8/2013 11:47PM

    emoticon

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SWANATOPIA 3/8/2013 11:28PM

    emoticon

Thanks for sharing, that was great!

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KARIDIAN1 3/8/2013 11:05PM

    That was good.

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-VIXEN- 3/8/2013 9:50PM

    Thanks for the giggles!!! :)

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MSLZZY 3/8/2013 9:04PM

    emoticon

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123ELAINE456 3/8/2013 7:06PM

  Awesome!!! LOL!!! Thank You. God Blessings To You and Everyone. Have a Wonderful Weekend. Take Care.

Comment edited on: 3/8/2013 7:07:06 PM

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SWIMLOVER 3/8/2013 6:16PM

  emoticon emoticon

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LOSINIT52 3/8/2013 6:00PM

    Good one!

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JCARDINAL 3/8/2013 5:56PM

    emoticon Thanks!

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BESCATS 3/8/2013 5:49PM

    That was awesome. emoticon Funny, I made that comment to my husband of 42 years, when we were joking about something.
After 42 years, I don't think he would want to start over. emoticon

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BIGPAWSUP 3/8/2013 5:23PM

    That was AWESOME!!!

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JACKIE542 3/8/2013 5:12PM

    emoticon Thank you.

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KASEYCOFF 3/8/2013 5:06PM

    I think I'll send that last on to Himself. He could use a nudge every now and then, lol--!
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