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CALIMAN1
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There's been a horrible little accident...

Friday, March 08, 2013

Friday night was date night for my wife and me. To be transparent, things haven't been so good between us for a while. There's been emotional distance, stubbornness, and maybe just plain forgetting the good things and good times....so a date night was needed and my kids were out with friends, so it was perfect timing.

Dinner was quiet, but pleasant. We went home to enjoy a movie on Netflix. Unfortunately, by 9:00, I was passing out on the couch....my wife asked, "Are you falling asleep?" I just nodded my head. She laughed, “Oh, no….” Sometime soon after that, as I lay groggy on the sofa, the phone rang. A shaky voice was on the other end, "Hi, this is Debbie, there's been a horrible little accident. The kids are fine, I don't want you to worry. Alyssa has a cut on her forehead and shoulder..."

My wife went to get the phone, but Debbie had hung up by then. She was frantic, "Alyssa was in a car accident!" I tried to to focus on Debbie's comment that all the kids were all right, but the shaky voice and "horrible little accident" left me more than a little shaken. We tried calling her, calling our daughter, calling her daughter and got nothing. Just when I was about to text Alyssa, the phone rang again...

"This is the Elk Grove Fire Department. We think you know your daughter has been in a rollover car accident." "I didn't know it was a rollover..." was all I could say. "She is in stable condition and is communicating which is very good. She has a bad laceration on her forehead and a cut on her shoulder. You need to get to the hospital right now...."

Suddenly horrible little accident didn't seem so little....my wife started crying, I grabbed the keys. She made calls to both my sons. My oldest was in Southern Cali for business, I could hear his stunned voice repeating "rollover...." My youngest son was with his girlfriend and her family. Her mother took the phone and said she was bringing him to the hospital. We called my mother because she lives close to the hospital and we knew she could get there first. "Oh my God, is she all right?" "We don't know..." my wife said. I yelled out "She's stable..." That is all I knew and what I wanted to hold on to. "She's stable..."

The hospital that they were taking my baby to specializes in children and trauma, but it was several miles away in Sacramento. I don't remember much of the drive, all I remember is when the emotions kicked in....from fright, to sadness, to anger, to "please God let her be ok..."...sometimes all came within seconds of one another...I remember my eyes welling up with tears, I remember being completely discombobulated in trying to find a hospital that I used to live down the street from...

When we pulled into the parking lot, we were right behind my parents who live down the street still from the hospital. That is how fast I was driving. My wife, mother and stepfather all hurried into Emergency leaving my sister and me to pay for parking. She looked into my eyes and asked, "Are you all right?" I started sobbing for a sec and then the other emotions took over again. My youngest son and his GF then pullted up, he came over to me and we hugged briefly. He had tears in his eyes...he looked utterly lost. This young man who loves to torment his sister looked so absolutely lost. His wisp of a GF put her arms around him, looked up into his sad face and said quietly, firmly, "She is going to be ok." That was so very special...she was taking care of my boy.

As we all started walking into the hospital, I saw my wife sitting down abruptly and crying with my mother standing over her. I walked faster. As I got to them, my mother approached me with tears and a shaky voice, "She's going to be all right." "What? She's here already?" "Yes, and she's going to be all right. She has a cut on her head and on her shoulder, but she will be fine." As soon as she said that, the social worker was standing there asking for the parents. My wife popped out of her seat and I lamely raised my arm like I was back in school.

As she began to escort us back to where our daughter was, my wife began to sob...the social worker stopped in her tracks and took my wife by the shoulders and said, "Mom, you need to be strong..." and she prepared us by saying that there was a lot of blood. At that point, I just needed to see my girl, needed to see she was truly all right. When we got to the room, I saw my baby with a large piece of gauze over her right eye, her face coated with dried blood, her hands also covered in blood, scratches and bruises on her arms....."hi, baby.....how's my girl?" "Hi daddy, I'm ok..."

To say the rest of our time at the ER and then the next day in the hospital was easy would be a lie. While I knew when I saw her that she would be "ok", there were numerous tests to run, stitches, many visitors, many medical staff some with wonderful bedside manner and some that didn't know how to filter their comments, x-rays and catscans. The "cut" on her forehead was much worse that what we thought...it was actually a hole...no parent is ever prepared to see that and they certainly didnt prepare us for it when they showed it to us. But we stayed strong...at least in front of her. There were trips to the cafeteria where we just sat and cried into our food....and then were ever so thankful that none of the 7 girls or the driver in the SUV were more hurt than they were. From the pics we saw much later and the reports we heard, we were indeed very fortunate, very blessed that everyone would be "ok". I do believe in miracles, even more now.

There will be some permanent scarring, there will be some minor plastic surgery to minimize the scarring, and the process will take time. The healing process, in and out, will take time....but Alyssa has shown me such strength and character through all of this...sure, she has had moments when she looked in the mirror and cried, "I don't want people to see me like this..." But she always bounced back....and the physical healing process has been absolutely amazing. She took one week off school, and she is now back....her friends and classmates have been fairly suppotive, except for the one that uttered, "That's gross..." but ALyssa just rolled her eyes when she shared that comment with me.

While on the hospital bed she shared, "God has a plan in this, we may never know what it is, but He has a plan..." and then the other day she said, "I don't know if I could take this back that I would..." I'm not real sure what her rationale is, but I am sure that she has deeply thought this through because I certainly would take it back!...my 14 year old is a warrior....a living miracle...she has inspired me in ways that I can't even count.

There is a lot more to this story, actually, it continues to be written....for now though, her laughter and silly faces will do...as will our good night hugs...and the way we mimic one another...my baby is ok...my baby is ok.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v JOYATLAST
    Thanking God with you!

    Our son had a similar incident. When he got home, I called him up after 9pm to say Good Night, just because I could. Point taken.

    I pray your marriage gets the boost it needs through it all.

    I'm so relieved and rejoice with you - your baby is ok!!
    1136 days ago
  • v SIMPLE_TAILOR
    How are things going?
    1237 days ago
  • v LINOVER
    So glad your daughter is okay! It sounds like she is healing both physically and psychologically! She seems very mature for a 14 year old. You can be very proud of her! I am sure that you and the other members of your family lived a lifetime in the time it took to get to the hospital. Thank God she was okay! Her guardian angel emoticon must have been putting in some overtime that night! emoticon
    1260 days ago
  • v LILIVW
    So sorry to hear about your daughter's accident. I hope she is continuing to heal.
    1260 days ago
  • v JUNIAATROME
    There always is a plan... but it's hard to accept sometimes.
    1269 days ago
  • v CJBAGGINS
    I don't think we've officially met here on sparkpeople, but I was visiting the "BuffyWorld" team page, when your blog title caught my eye.

    I read your blog, and was going to exit the page, when I thought I couldn't read something so horrible, and yet so hopeful, and not leave a comment.

    No parent should ever have to hear that remark on the phone, or get a message from someone at the door in the middle of the night. Quite a parental nightmare, that's for sure.

    All praise be to God that your daughter (and the others with her) were all right, and will be all right.

    What a blessing she is in your life.

    May God continue to bless you all.

    cj
    1270 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/10/2013 1:10:14 AM
  • v BYEFATNANNY
    Wow so glad she's ok. The story made me teer up. We all dread that awful call. I'm sure she is as beautiful as ever and she'll now have a little conversation piece. She does sound like a strong little girl, you've raised her well, and thank goodness you still have many years to continue raising her.
    1271 days ago
  • v LISAW/3
    Oh my goodness, John! I can't even imagine what that was like for you and your family, even though I cried just reading it! I am so glad that your daughter and the other girls are okay. There have been so many traffic accidents involving teenagers recently; it is so scary. It sounds as though this was a true test for everyone in your family and they all handled it wonderfully.
    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. And your daughter is right, there is always a plan!
    1271 days ago
  • v CARTOONB
    Wow! That is so scary! I'm so glad that she is okay. I will coninue to pray for her and for you and your family.
    1272 days ago
  • v MISS_VIV
    Until you hold them in your arms and feel their warmth against you there is no way to know that they are 'really OK'... Words bounce off the walls in the E.R. and doctors and nurses do all they can to prepare but UNTIL.........yes until you see them, hold them and they look into your eyes, it is hard to determine is it really, OK..

    God has given you so many blessings.
    And a loving family is only a part of it.
    The best is yet to be.

    Hugs
    Vivian
    1272 days ago
  • v CINDYAST
    Praise God she's okay. And what a kid to take the attitude she has! You've raised a strong daughter to be proud of.
    1272 days ago
  • v TRYINGTOLOSE64
    This will be a day that won't be forgotten for quite some time!! You and your family are in my prayers!
    1272 days ago
  • v TINY-RUNNERGIRL
    my prayers go out to your family and her speedy healing!
    1272 days ago
  • v KAYDE53
    Glad she wasn't hurt any worse and will be okay! She sounds very wise!! emoticon emoticon
    1272 days ago
  • v RUN4FOOD
    Sounds like you have a strong daughter.
    Hope you can keep the family that way also.
    1272 days ago
  • v BKNOCK
    Sounds like Alyssa has spunk! I am glad that she is okay!
    1272 days ago
  • v SHRINKING7
    Praise God for our babies and his protection over them!
    1272 days ago
  • v KNITTABLES
    emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so happy and relieved to hear that you precious daughter is going to be OK. Praying for the whole family.
    1272 days ago
  • v NOW_IM_IT
    Soo glad your baby is ok!! Sending prayers up & hugs to you all!! emoticon
    1272 days ago
  • v BRANDIW7
    I'm so glad that your daughter will be okay. How scary for you!
    1272 days ago
  • v SUCCESSN2015
    emoticon and prayers to you both.
    1272 days ago
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