Friday, March 08, 2013
My 17 YO darling daughter is like petting a porcupine - occasionally you get in a few strokes without getting hurt before she pelts you with spikes - then you spend the rest of the day pulling the barbs out. She talked to me today and we had 15 minutes before I said something that set her off. For the most part I can be calm and collected but there are times when what she says hits deep and hurts. She is so confused and hurting and asks me for help then pushes me away. I can only be here and that is hard because I want to help but she needs to figure this out on her own. I let her know I love her and am here for her.
So I am here for my daughter but I am also finding that I need to be here for myself. That is something that I have been sorry lacking in doing - being here for myself and showing myself consideration and kindness. This week I have been clearing my work, my home and my emotions. It is hard work but so freeing. It does make you quite tired all this clearing out.