The Kindness of Family
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
You know, I read a few threads about free-loading kids, and I wonder about everyone involved, the family dynamics etc.
I'm 32 years old and depend on my parents quite a bit. More than I am comfortable admitting to friends. I feel guilty even just telling you all. I spent my childhood hearing "No" and I don't ever ask for anything now. Not birthday gifts, not christmas gifts. When pressed, I will ask for something practical, new glasses, a visit to the dentist.
I transferred schools recently, involving a major move. I had planned this out pretty well, I had about $4G saved up, and worked until the last possible day.
When my parents hijacked the experience I just... let them. There is a part of me that feels that the help is undeserved. I am pretty sure I could pay for the move. I would have made different decisions if I ended up paying for everything myself, but I never assumed that anyone else would be picking up the tab.
I see my peers struggling and I wonder, shouldn't I be struggling too?
There is not much I can do to curtail these kindnesses. It would cost me more in my relationship with them to turn them down. My parents choose to spare me these struggles, and I don't feel like I deserve it. So to put away my guilt (which is great), I plan to make the most of this time and help. Do the best I can in school and make the most of the experience so that I am not a burden to my family going forward.
It's a compromise I've had to make with myself.