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    ELIZABETHDS   23,749
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"Used to be fat" dilemma


Wednesday, March 06, 2013

I just looked back over my blog posts from the past three months to see how I'm doing with my goals and I have to say wow, sparkfriends, thank you for your support! Such amazing comments :) I love this community.

I'm pretty proud of how far I've come in my journey toward a healthier, fitter me. My goals are coming along nicely despite what the scale may or may not say...the "extra" on my arms and upper thighs is barely pinchable, I am so incredibly strong from TRX that I don't even recognize myself in class (I never thought I would be the *best* at push-ups in any situation), my clothes are frustratingly oversized, and I am happily flexible with my cardio schedule (dancing? zumba? running? elliptical? whatever feels good!).

But all that health and happiness has brought on a new dilemma. Now I have new friends (and a romantic interest) who don't know I used to be fat.

Do I tell them? Especially the boy, who is working on shaping up as we speak - do I tell him that I used to weight more than he does? How have y'all handled this, sparkfriends?

On the one hand, I think I have nothing to lose (no pun intended....) and that it could be a motivating/bonding thing for us. On the other hand, it brings out some dormant insecurities, because of course I'm still working to get leaner and lose another 5 or so pounds...but those 5 shouldn't negate the 45+ I've lost in the past 18 months or the 70+ I've lost since my highest weight....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ELIZABETHDS 3/12/2013 2:05PM

    All of your thoughtful comments amaze me, thank you! I will have to do a big reveal to tell you what I decided :) emoticon you sparkfriends!!

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GRAPLEIRIS 3/7/2013 2:39PM

    OK so new relationships are very much about "now". You're evaluating each other on how well you fit with each other on a bunch of different levels. One is physical, others are intellectual, emotional, even spiritual. That fit could be compatible: as in you like the very same things or complementary: as in you bring out other aspects in each other that might not otherwise surface.

Somewhere in there the past will come up. It's ok to sidestep the past at that first stage. You have enough to get through. But stage two gets a little deeper. It's not just about now, but about then and about later. At this point it's not ok to keep secrets. More to the point it's not ok to feel like you WANT to keep secrets. If this person is really right you need to feel like whatever is in your past, they can accept because it helped shape you into the person you are NOW.

And really: if your friend tells you I used to drink too much, or I used to swear a lot, do you really re-evalute your friendship? This really should be no biggie.

Keep doing what your doing!

emoticon



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HHB4181 3/7/2013 12:49PM

    When I tell people I used to be 35lbs heavier, they usually can't believe it. I usually get some questions about how I did it, what I eat, etc. No one has ever held it against me or thought less of me (at least to my face). You should be proud of yourself! You've accomplished so much and continue to do so!

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SEEINGCLEARLY53 3/6/2013 10:15PM

    I don't think you should feel embarrassment for where you been,,,,,,instead feel proud of where you are now,,,,,,,,,bottom line,,still your decision,,,but I would want someone to love me for all of me........

Comment edited on: 3/6/2013 10:16:04 PM

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JESSKAPPEL 3/6/2013 3:12PM

    emoticon

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KDAILEY70 3/6/2013 3:03PM

    Only you know what feels right. Go with that.

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NEEDBU66 3/6/2013 2:53PM

    Always best to be honest. Being fat isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Tell him it could be why you may have issues or whatever. If he runs off, he wasn't good enough for you, anyway.

MHO

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