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Love Yourself Now


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Wednesday, March 06, 2013



Today is day 15 of my streak! (Previous streaks; 290 days, 13 days, and 53 days.)

In my previous blog, "One Year Later", I wrote about the changes that have occurred in my life since I started streaking last year...how I am happier, healthier and fitter. There have been a few comments on that blog that have really made me sad, though.

For example, one person said "I hope I can feel better about myself by next March." Another comment was "Losing weight leads to happiness."

Those comments made my heart hurt a little. They imply that you can't love yourself or be happy unless you lose weight first!


The truth is, you need to love yourself FIRST, before you can have any true and lasting weight loss success. Thats really the secret, because if you can't love yourself right now, you will never really love yourself, not even when you reach your goal.

I'm someone who has always suffered from low self esteem. I never loved myself. As a child, I was always compared to my sister, who was called "the pretty one." In school, I was made fun of and called names including "Pixie Big Nose".

My first husband often told me that he was too good looking to be seen in public with me. He had special names that he called me. His favorites were "Dog" and "Lardo."




So of course I always felt that I was ugly and unlovable. No one else loved me, so why should I love myself? Even after I met my current husband, my self esteem was still very low. And it wasn't always tied to my weight. As a child, teen and young adult, I was very thin. The weight didn't start to come on until I hit my late 20's. But of course, after the weight came on, my self esteem became even lower. I would go on diets and lose weight, but I was still the same unhappy person. So of course the weight would always come back on.

I'd often heard that you have to love yourself first in order to lose weight successfully. I just sort of brushed that off as a bunch of hooey. What did self love have to do with weight loss?

But last March, things changed. I was at my highest weight ever, and I knew I had to do something about it. I literally couldn't go on living that way, because my obesity was slowly killing me.

Up until then, I'd tried so many different ways of losing weight...some healthy, some not healthy. Some of them worked, and some of them didn't, but none of them ever lead to any lasting success, because even after the weight loss, I was still the same unhappy person who had no self esteem.

So why not try to love myself? Why not "build a bridge and get over it?" Why not let the past go, and start treating myself with love and respect?



When I started my first streak last March, I decided to make it about something other than just weight loss. I decided to make it about loving myself enough to make each day as healthy as I possibly could.



It wasn't easy. I didn't just wake up on March 1st with a good sense of self esteem. But I knew I could just "fake it until I make it." So every day, I would wake up and write down one good thing about myself in my personal journal. And then I would tell myself that I deserved to live a healthy, fit life. Day by day, my self esteem started to increase. When I would finish a difficult workout, I would reward myself with a mental pat on the back. And everytime I would be tempted to skip a workout, I would say "I will love myself enough to take care of my body by working out today." If I was tempted to eat something unhealthy, I would say "I love myself too much to put junk food in my body."



To be honest, it felt a little strange at first! But as time went by, I started to realize that I wasn't just saying the words. I was feeling them! I really was learning to love myself!

I've lost 71 lbs since last March, but I don't love myself because I've lost weight. I love myself because I am me, and this is the only life on earth that I'm going to get. I don't want to waste another minute of my life on self hatred. I don't want to wait until I reach my goal weight to start being happy. I choose to be happy now. I choose to love myself now. Losing weight didn't lead to happiness. Choosing happiness is what lead to weight loss.



I still have more weight to lose, but I'm not waiting until then to feel good about myself. I hope you won't wait, either. Love yourself, and then show the love by taking care of your health. You really are worth it!

"I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth."
~From Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst
(shared by Sparkfriend Lemon2012)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
HxH-XQgCEz8





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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WITHNEWEYES 3/8/2013 4:38AM

    You truly are inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

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LIFETIMER54 3/8/2013 3:15AM

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BLUEJEAN99 3/8/2013 1:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GOSPARK45 3/8/2013 1:42AM

    Right on! I've spent a lot of time trying to be my own cheerleader. It's slowly working.
and you help inspire me. It really is about learning to love ourselves...

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CHESAKAT41 3/7/2013 10:46PM

    Incredible blog - wonderful info for all of us - thank you for posting this. It is a lifestyle change as well as a mindset change. I am trying to go there, but fall back! Start again and fall back again...It is an on going struggl at this point in time, but I am not quitting - that is the main thing...Blessings - you have a wonderful spirit...
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JAMER123 3/7/2013 10:46PM

    I had to go back & see what comment I made on your previous blog. Didn't trust myself that I wasn't one making the low self esteem comments. I was one of those that was bullied by my peers and teachers while growing up. My parents didn't believe all that I told them so I just let it go and if no one else loved me, I couldn't love me either. I became engaged at the age of 23 and my grandma neighbor said to her, "who would marry that .............? She must be pregnant!! Our first born came 3 yrs. later!!

I have a hubby that has helped my build that confidence & love of self!! I know that is a lot of the reason I have lost #83 until the plateau hit a yr. ago. So yes, I can attest that love of self is so very necessary and we can all continue to learn every day of our lives!!

Thank you for a deeply inspiring and open blog! Blessing to your strength!!
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HYDROQUEEN 3/7/2013 9:53PM

    Great blog! And great job on your progress!

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KDAILEY70 3/7/2013 9:46PM

    Amen.

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JUNEAU2010 3/7/2013 9:36PM

    I have tears in my eyes! Wonderful! I have very low self esteem

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SUSIEMT 3/7/2013 9:19PM

    Thank you for sharing.

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CLAYARTIST 3/7/2013 7:51PM

  emoticon mmm emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYM48 3/7/2013 7:32PM

    Way to go! I love it! We are worth it and we can do it.
Thanks for the motivational blog and always stopping by to be so encouraging! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIVELYGIRL2 3/7/2013 6:39PM

  One of your best insights! Really,really liked your insights. emoticon emoticon

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RONDLEW 3/7/2013 6:01PM

    Awesome blog! Thank you for sharing!

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TERMITEMOM 3/7/2013 5:33PM

    emoticon emoticon I needed this today!

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PATRICIAANN46 3/7/2013 5:33PM

  Hi Pixie........
Your INCREDIBLE attitude re: who you are is the reason why you are so successful and such an inspiration to us. emoticon

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ALIDOSHA 3/7/2013 4:57PM

    Such a motivating story and analysis. Thanks for sharing.

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LOTUSBURGER 3/7/2013 3:57PM

    emoticon YOU are beautiful!
Great blog, very insightful!

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MARTY728 3/7/2013 2:00PM

    emoticon

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CHRISBEM 3/7/2013 1:58PM

    I really liked the picture quotes today

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DEBBIE19580 3/7/2013 12:23PM

    this is so true pixie. i had to read literally months on end on how to love myself. it started with demanding respect from everyone in my life. they had no choice but to respect me. from that i built myself up. my ex used to call me a fat bitch every single day, and my father told me every day growing up the same thing. i was 145 pounds and in a bikini when my father told me this day in and day out. i beleived it. it was so ingrained in me my whole life. it is such a great thing when you finally love yourself and demand only respect from everyone. i am so proud of you and so happy for you. you are my inspiration as always. love you.

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JUDYAASH 3/7/2013 12:04PM

    Once again a right on the nose blog. I needed something to pick me up and build my self esteem and this was it! Thank you for this. I have always lived by the "fake it until you make it" rule but never applied it to my self esteem, so I know it will work. Once again thanks and keep up the great job you are doing.

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RENATARUNS 3/7/2013 11:59AM

    Amen. The first good thing I did for myself, before I even considered changing the way I eat or live, was to get back on my anti-depressant medication. There's no doubt in my mind I wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't done that.

And another good thing I did for myself, right after I made my lifestyle changes, was to go shopping, get myself a couple of sets of nice clothes that fit properly and looked decent on me, instead of living in falling-apart sweatpants because I hated shopping so much. Those clothes don't fit anymore. ;) But it made a big difference to my state of mind.

In order to change, you have to believe you're worth the effort, now and every single day.

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MISSBOOBOOKITTY 3/7/2013 11:39AM

    emoticon

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AKATHLEEN54 3/7/2013 11:29AM

    Great blog as always Pixie. What strikes me most is that people will notice you more if you love yourself. People tend to shy away from those who are withdrawn and have low self esteem. If you just put yourself out there are show the world... hey this is me.... I like who I am people are drawn to that and it makes such a difference in where you are going!!

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SORLANDO21 3/7/2013 11:00AM

    emoticon

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ALASKABRED 3/7/2013 10:49AM

    If we don't like ourselves our journey will be short-lived. We have to lose weight because we know we are worth the effort, not for external reasons. That is why so many young people of today are anorexic. Society has taught them that they are only worthy if they are thin.

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LISA_FRAME 3/7/2013 10:47AM

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JOANNHUNT 3/7/2013 10:31AM

    I LOVE MYSELF. YOU HAVE SHOWED ME HOW AND I AM NOT GOING TO STOP LOVING MYSELF AND MOVE ON TO A BETTER TIME. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DJSHIP46 3/7/2013 10:30AM

    Good thoughts... thanks for sharing!

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SHOAPIE 3/7/2013 10:19AM

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HEARTS116 3/7/2013 10:04AM

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CEEMAY 3/7/2013 10:00AM

    You are so entirely loveable! How wonderful you now realize that and embrace exactly who you are where you are. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights on self love~

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BRENDA_G50 3/7/2013 9:59AM

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SJKENT1 3/7/2013 9:59AM

    Thank you for sharing this... really helpful and real.!

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GBSLIM 3/7/2013 9:48AM

    Hugs back sweet friend.

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GINGERD03 3/7/2013 9:48AM

  emoticon You are completely right-I too had to learn this lesson of self love & it's completely life changing~Proud of you for overcoming everything-for fighting to be healthy & happy & for sharing with others the truth behind it. Awesome job! emoticon

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FATHINSN 3/7/2013 9:46AM

    Losing pounds, losing extra inches or finally able to fit into goal size don't mean true happiness, those are rewards or bonus of efforts. What most important is (what I've been drilling and re-drilling in myself) accept yourself, inside and outside beauty, don't let other's judgement colours what you see about yourself. We might be look so sexy and slim but if inside, it's "crumbling", things might worsen more silently and in long term and suddenly, you wake up hating yourself!

So, let's us love ourselves, our unique attributes, all those good and bad, truly except who we are :D

(I found that putting positive words to others help me to keep positive thinking and feeling for myself, too :D)

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PUPPYWHISPERS 3/7/2013 9:45AM

    Oh my goodness, this blog brought tears to my eyes. I especially love the last quote...this blog could have been written by me.

I struggle daily with self esteem issues. It's hard, but I think I'm getting there. I too realized that the reasons why when I've lost weight in the past, I couldn't keep it off because I was still the same unhappy person inside. So this time, I'm with you on learning to love myself as I lose weight.

I think you're emoticon

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ROCKYCPA 3/7/2013 9:44AM

    Great blog! emoticon

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NEPTUNE1939 3/7/2013 9:37AM

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TKLBRIDGET 3/7/2013 9:08AM

    emoticon
thank you for an inspiring blog!

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AMANDACOETZER 3/7/2013 8:44AM

    Thanks

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RAJANIEMI 3/7/2013 8:42AM

    Pixie,
So true, If we don't love ourselves how can anyone else love us? I did that and didn't even realize it until I read your blog.

My 2nd anniversary is coming up April 12th, and I can tell you right now I am at my fitness goal. One day I will at my weight goal. For me is isn't about the weight, it is about the fitness. I will never let my weight hold me back from ANYTHING I want to do.

Keep up the great blogs, your are very inspiring.
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Comment edited on: 3/7/2013 8:43:09 AM

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MIMIDOT 3/7/2013 8:24AM

    Great blog! Your messages always inspire me. Thanks!

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SIMONEKP 3/7/2013 8:16AM

    I'm sorry you had it so rough growing up but I'm glad you came to realize that you have to love yourself first, otherwise, how else do you love anyone else.

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MOMMY445 3/7/2013 8:11AM

    you are so amazing,Pixie! have a fabulous day!

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CHERYLHURT 3/7/2013 7:54AM

  Well done

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LINZBM21 3/7/2013 7:36AM

    so wonderful and uplifting! thanks for posting this!

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BEAUTIFUL_REINA 3/7/2013 7:21AM

    What a wonderful blog.

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