Yep, flying out to go to Universal Studios with the family on Sunday :) Gonna be so much fun, and with this new mentality I have, I'm going to be able to relax about food and enjoy myself easily.
I've put my binging behind me for good finally. I don't feel like I have to deprive myself when looking at a cookie. I know that I won't enjoy just eating one cookie, and that I won't enjoy myself later if I eat a dozen. Ergo I don't enjoy eating cookies. Except once in a while when one looks really good, and then I can slow down and enjoy the taste and "treat" that one truly is.
I can finally enjoy good food like a regular person and it feels great.
I know that with a big, indulgent meal in front of me in Orlando, I will be able to enjoy it more if I don't eat all of it. I've never really even had that thought before. And that just seems natural now.
I think I'll kind of track food on vacation, more out of curiosity than anything. I won't care if I hit 3,000 calories, or if I don't get enough protein each day. This whole "eat right because it makes me feel better" is the way I should have stayed the whole time, but I got obsessed with the numbers on this site and seeing how much perfect progress I could make. Even once I made my goal weight, I never got off that mindset and I think that was subconsciously causing me all the stress and giving claws to my monster. I was tracking all my food at least 2-3 days in advance, and getting my numbers perfect.
Last week, I was eating healthy when I wanted to and tracking after, and I was doing a pretty darn good job of having my numbers look fine at the end of the day just by listening to my body. Relaxing, and normal.
So, going to have a ton of fun and probably gain a little fat. But I don't really care. That's what a vacation is for, right? Eating whole food when I'm hungry leads to about 1,700 cals a day for me, so eating normal for a week or two after that and it'll be off. Then I can add some forced snacks to hit 2,200 if I want to put some healthy size back on while lifting, but not sure if I'll want to do that or not.
Just wanted to post the update: After two weeks of mostly success, It's official. I can relax and be normal again.
Only red flag to my healthy lifestyle is some college drinking. But I'm enjoying the time and shenanigans with friends, so to me its (normally) worth it.