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    JMERLAU   68,115
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Fat Guy....you aren't welcome here!


Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Originally posted on my personal blog site: http://warrior4health.com/2013
/03/06/fat-guy-you-arent-w
elcome-here/


March 6th 2013

I have NO IDEA WHY, but my former self is talking to me today!

He is telling me that I need to go eat everything I can.
He is telling me that I am going to gain every pound back.
He is telling me that I am a slacker.

I'll be perfectly honest as I have been my entire journey. This is sort of freaking me out a little bit today!

I've not had this happen to me in a very long time. I have said it before and I'll keep saying it, 'my will is stronger than my addiction'. I do see it as an addiction, no different than any other addiction really, my addiction to food. It's gripping and can get in your head, if you let it. For those who have never been obese or dealt with a food addiction, it may be hard to understand that it is a very real thing, living and breathing really! I have not binged in a long time. I am tracking my food on a somewhat regular basis and I am working out 5 days a week doing Les Mills COMBAT. I am doing the things I need to be doing to keep myself on track. My wife has been there doing the same things which is amazing to have that support.

I am blogging about this today as a way to get it out of my head. I am blogging to show that I am human, I am not perfect. I am blogging to maybe help somebody else understand that it is a DAILY battle. Most days are very good days for me personally as I don't deal with this often. Today is different and I can't explain why. The 'voice' of the fat guy is stronger, more diligent with his message.

I will WIN this battle, I will face this giant head on and I will prove to ME that I am stronger than this voice. I will prove that I have the COURAGE to do what it takes for my health. I will be the example I need to be for my family!

Fat Guy.....go away
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SPARKLISE 3/20/2013 8:11AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MANDYLOVE_76 3/13/2013 12:55PM

    Thank you for this blog. I have been struggling with myself for about the last 6 months. With full-time work, full-time school and kids I've been stressed. I am an emotional eater... and food addict. I'm not happy you are struggling it's nice to know I'm not alone!

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A-DAY-AT-A-TIME 3/9/2013 4:33PM

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HEALTHYME229 3/7/2013 10:52AM

    I don't know about you, but often times when I have these types of internal struggles, just writing is down diminishes it's hold. It is almost like I can "see" the issue and evaluate it without the emotion that circulates in my head. I hope your blog did that for you as well.

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RUNNER12COM 3/7/2013 9:48AM

    Again, you turn your struggle into inspiration for others. You amaze me, my friend.

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WANT2BHEALTHY11 3/6/2013 10:15PM

    You have done an awesome job and are an inspiration to the rest of us. You got this!!! Will be praying for you for strength to get through days like this because I know I have them too. Thanks so much for sharing this blog. Have a Blessed week.

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AWOOD1973 3/6/2013 6:14PM

    You got this!!! Kick fatty to the curb! You are far from being that guy!!! You will win this battle!!! emoticon emoticon

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-DAVE- 3/6/2013 4:47PM

    Stay strong.

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JANETRIS 3/6/2013 4:19PM

    Send FAT GUY packing!! You've got the power! emoticon

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ANDREA0301 3/6/2013 4:15PM

    Love your honesty as always friend!
Keep up the good fight and I know the new you will prevail!

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MSANITAL 3/6/2013 3:40PM

    Hugs JMAN your stronger then this and you will be ok
I know that because you tell me that

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MRSGOAT9699 3/6/2013 3:36PM

    Hang in there!! You've come too far! You can beat it!

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NVRGIVINGUP 3/6/2013 3:23PM

    You have come to far to fall now just keep on keep'n on. Find you a healthy treat and enjoy it slowly. Know that this is going to pass and you will have the VICTORY over this enemy.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 3/6/2013 3:11PM

    Go away fat guy! You're the boss Jerome! emoticon

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MRSHONEYCOMB 3/6/2013 2:44PM

    Maybe you should make note of everything you ate yesterday....and when this happens again ....make note...maybe you have found a trigger food? Just a thought! emoticon

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ANNIEONLI 3/6/2013 2:39PM

    you got this man...hang in there...this too shall pass.

My inner fat chick comes out shrieking from time to time too...know in your heart of hearts that you are doing more good than bad and that counts for something...BIG time.
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EDGEOFSANITY 3/6/2013 2:38PM

    I sometimes hear from my inner fat chick... I think it's something we all struggle with. Knowing what we need to do, but not wanting to do it...

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WATERMELLEN 3/6/2013 1:50PM

    Yup, it's an addiction . . . and as we know (from Michael Moss) some of the most addictive foods are deliberately manufactured to create addiction.

It's tough and it's a life long battle. But: you're beating it! Good for you!!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/6/2013 1:27PM

    Yeah, my inner fat girl pops up every now and then... I have to kick in the throat to get her to shut up. Good thing I've got some moves from kickboxing class, lol! hang in there, eventually, he'll get the picture that you just don't want to hear from him anymore.

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MEXGAL1 3/6/2013 1:22PM

    Just knowing helps so much. Yes you will win this forever battle. I too am winning and will not let myself be beat!
Thanks so much for sharing.
Sallie

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CELIAMINER 3/6/2013 12:11PM

    emoticon

Just when I needed a blog like this, yours was there! I am home today stressing over a power outage (power back on now), shoveling snow because the snow blower needed electricity to start it, my screaming back (need a soak), and worrying about whether my travel tomorrow is still a go and whether I will find I am missing some vital piece of information for international travel. I found myself several times opening the fridge, freezer, and pantry doors looking for food, ready to give into the stress and sink into a pity party. I feel so much stronger reading your words and the comments. Thanks.

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MANDELOVICH 3/6/2013 11:55AM

    I have those days too. And actually, I had a few months where the fat woman came back. Further, I agree that it's an addiction and those neural pathways pop up when we least expect them. But your blogging, your support, your commitment are all terrific and I'm so glad you will beat that demon back!

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MPLSKEN 3/6/2013 11:48AM

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Thanks for sharing! The exact same thing happened to me yesterday. I track everything, so that keeps me somewhat in check. And, I keep going with my exercise streak. I have faith that as long as I stay on track most days and record the fallout of my bad days, everything should be fine (at least it has been so far). But, I do get worried from time to time when I see the ghost of my past habits.
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