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    MOMMYCRUTCH   1,882
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Reflecting Back...

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

As a child, I never had problems with my weight. I was always a petite little thing, but well toned and defined thanks to years of gymnastics. When I graduated high school, I carried 98 pounds on my 5'3 frame.

The 'Freshman Fifteen' I picked up my first year of college looked good (although it was more like the freshman twenty for me)! The weight looked good, but now that I look back, I realize I was beginning to pick up some bad habits. I was no longer active and surviving on a college student bank account, my meals were less than healthy or well-balanced.

Fast forward five years after graduation, I was pregnant with my first child with my boyfriend (now husband). At the beginning of my pregnancy, I weight sporting a healthy 125 pounds but at delivery, I tipped the scale at 167 pounds! After having my daughter, I never dropped back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my now 130 pound body looked good...sexy...HEALTHY. Six years later, we got pregnant with my son - beginning weight now 138 pounds. I am not sure if it is because I was now a 30 year old woman but the weight just didn't shed like it did during my first pregnancy in my early 20s.

Now, I am a 37 year old woman who's weight has fluctuated constantly over the past 4-5 years. At one point my weight edged its weight up to 167 pounds again, only this time I WAS NOT PREGNANT! I did not realize how big I'd really gotten until I looked back through some photos from a friend's wedding. At that point, I said I was going to jump head first in and lose weight. I did an excellent job, dropping all the way down to 145. Still, I was not tackling weight loss and working on a healthy me the right way.

After dropping down the lowest weight I'd been since I was in my mid 30s, I managed to gain back 12 pounds. I am NOT HAPPY with the way I look. I am NOT HAPPY that I have let myself become embarrassed of my body and image. I am NOT HAPPY that I am not setting the proper example of healthy with my children. Rather than jumping on the latest fads and trying to drop weight extremely fast, I am committing myself to a healthy lifestyle - exercise and healthy nutrition. My mom has a background of heart problems along with many other health issues; it could all very well be genetic. I am going to do everything I can to be healthy and not contribute to issues that could be lurking in me within my genetics. I will be healthy for myself, my health and my family.

Here's to finding HAPPY!
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