Wednesday, March 06, 2013
I took some time last night to look back over the last 2 1/2 months. I started with Spark in December and was highly motivated and successful. Then it happened. Work got busy, the weather was too bad to walk outside, and I got sick. My motivation slowly was wearing away and I could feel myself getting sucked back into bad habits. I'd have glimmers of motivation again, and would do well for a day or two until things got busy again.
So last night i reflected. What worked when I was motivated and what happened to lose it? What did I really want? After all, if I don't really want to be healthy and invest in my future, then why am I trying? I really let myself just sit in the quiet and think.
I came to the realization that I do want to be healthy and that I was going about it all wrong. I was focused only on the scale and losing weight and on meeting unrealistic goals. WHen the scale didn't move (or moved in the wrong direction) or I didn't meet my goals, I allowed myself to say, "See, you can't do it. It's impossible."
Then I thought about all I had done over the last 2 1/2 months. I am walking and exercising more that I ever have. I am cooking at home more and eating healthier. I am getting support from Spark and from friends here at home. Overall, I've made positive changes. So maybe my goal isn't to lose weight (that is still a good thing) but is to live healthy.
It will still be a challenge as I make changes, but if I focus on being healthy overall, I can't let myself give up when some aspects aren't perfect. I realize that I won't get to my goal weight as quickly as I wanted (which was unrealistic anyway) and I won't be running a marathon soon, but I am on my way to getting there!