Wednesday, March 06, 2013
“I am satisfied there is nothing to be done but to make the best of what cannot be helped, to act with reason oneself and with a good conscience. And though that will not give all the joys some people wish for, yet it will make one very quiet.”
—SARAH CHURCHILL, Duchess of Marlborough, 17th-century British aristocrat
A volunteer from the Red Cross knocked on the door of the richest lawyer in town. She said to him, “Our research shows that you make seven million dollars a year but don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to make a generous donation?”
The wealthy lawyer replied, “Did you know that my mother is dying after a long illness and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the Red Cross worker mumbled, “Um, no …”
But the lawyer kept going: “Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
The Red Cross worker tearfully tried to apologize, but the man interrupted her again: “Or that my sister’s husband died suddenly, leaving her penniless with three children?”
The humiliated Red Cross worker cried, “I had no idea!”
The rich lawyer continued, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”
How many amendments to the U.S. Constitution were proposed in the Bill of Rights passed by Congress in 1789?
12. The first two proposed—dealing with the number and apportionment of the House of Representatives, and Congressional pay raises—failed to be ratified by three-fourths of the state legislatures. The remaining 10 were ratified and became the Bill of Rights.
We’ve mashed together the scenarios of two shows. Can you guess their blended titles?
1. California teenagers (Ben McKenzie, Adam Brody, Rachel Bilson) fall in and out of love with one another as they attend concerts by indie rock bands … and use advanced forensics equipment to solve heinous crimes in Miami.
2. Groucho Marx tells jokes, improvises, and quizzes two contestants for cash prizes … which they need to raise their two teenagers, Becca (Kellie Martin), a sensitive nerd, and Corky (Chris Burke), a boy with Down syndrome.
3. A tame, 600-pound black bear is brought in from the wild to live among humans, where he befriends a little boy (Clint Howard) and…an idealistic, handsome young surgeon (Vince Edwards) at County General Hospital.
1. The O.C. + CSI Miami = The OCSI Miami
2. You Bet Your Life + Life Goes On = You Bet Your Life Goes On
3. Gentle Ben + Ben Casey = Gentle Ben Casey
First drama canceled by a network and revived on cable: The Paper Chase (CBS to Showtime, 1983).
(I loved The Paper Chase while it was on the network. Didn't have cable, so I couldn't watch it after it was canceled)