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    DAUGHTEROFTWIN   19,983
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Freefall


Tuesday, March 05, 2013

That's what I feel like right now. Don't misunderstand. I had a strong day today--90 minutes of Zumba, an 1183 calorie deficit and appropriate ratios on my nutrients. So what's the problem this time, you ask?

I got my new HRM in. It very accurately measures my HR during exercise. But apparently I have been way overinflating my calories burned. And let me tell you folks something. If my HRM is accurate on calories burned, then SP's estimates are WAY off! My old HRM showed a calorie burn less than SP's estimate. I thought that made it accurate. Instead of burning 2500-3000 calories a week as I thought I was doing, it looks as if I was only burning 1500. I don't get it. I exercise consistently between 70-85% of my max heart rate. Note that I am shaking my head in disbelief and great sadness).

I don't want to do 90+ minutes of exercise a day. I don't want to limit myself to 1200-1500 calories a day. Folks, I'll go freakin' nuts. I have been in a full state of despair for the past 24 hours.

I'm going to make the changes, but Let me be honest here. It makes me really pissed off. I no longer feel joy about this journey. My inner child has already begun making plans to mutiny. She's the little rebel with a "you can't make me" attitude. She's usually right.

Here's another thing. I cannot cope with any more social/family temptations. Dear friends, family and co-workers--please stop offering me food I don't need. No more Chocolate cake or Butterfingers or whatever is left on your plate. I know that's your way of showing you love me, but I'm not that strong. I will screw up and make poor decisions on my own. That is not an invitation to offer me more junk. I need support, not temptation. I'm sorry I'm not fun to be around any more, but our food intensive lifestyle will kill me. With my new lower calorie restrictions, my cravings are going to be very difficult to manage. I won't have the extra willpower to cope with additional temptation.

GAH! I know I can "fill up on veggies" for greater satiety. However, I'm big on texture--as much as taste. I don't like crunchy, raw or undercooked veggies. I will eat them but they are not the focus of any of my meals. I don't like soup. Don't care much for smoothies as a meal replacement. I'm not crazy about most packaged junk food.

We'll see how the next couple of weeks go. However, I'm warning you dear friends, I'm likely to be in a major pout for awhile. If you're looking for sunshine and rainbows, you're probably not going to get much of that from me. I've got to do some readjusting mentally so that I can come to terms with this sucky new reality.

Good night. I'm worn out and hungry. Going to bed.



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHPATCH11 3/11/2013 9:01AM

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Just push past this feeling and stay on track as best you can. You have tons of people around you doing the same thing on here anyways.

"Skinny feels better then foods tastes" - no idea who came up with the quote but its one of my fav motivation quotes!




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BRADMILL2922 3/7/2013 5:59PM

    Keep your chin up! I can understand the frustration and I understand that it really sucks sometimes. But don't give up. Don't let it beat you, you beat it! This thing we are doing isn't easy. If it were easy, we wouldn't have Spark and we wouldn't need all the support from such good people. Look at all the support you have and all the people who have your back! Keep pushing!

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EMMACORY 3/7/2013 11:06AM

    I echo what all the others are saying. What other measures are you using? I think the food tracker is accurate but I have always thought that the fitness tracker was off. I do water jogging on a water treadmill and the number they give me does not seem correct. So I pay more attention to how I am working out, how is my intensity, duration improving...and I let those be my measures. As far as your friends and food could you possibly say "no, I don't want that but I would love a hug?" Just be true to yourself. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are courageous, you are disciplined, you are able to do whatever you set your mind to. Go for it! You deserve it! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 3/6/2013 11:33PM

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MSEMBERSTORM 3/6/2013 10:40PM

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/6/2013 1:25PM

    Oh sweetie, I know how you feel. Between my new heart monitor and the Bradycardia I was diagnosed with in the fall, I have to kill myself just to burn 300 calories. This journey is hard enough without all the extra stress, and I'm hoping your friends, family and coworkers stop offering you food, especially when you don't want it. I'm here for ya girly!
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PARASELENIC 3/6/2013 12:31PM

    Lots to unpack here, I feel your pain, and you're totally right in feeling the frustration that you are feeling.

I can sense a pendulum swing effect here-- where the one thing, HRM discordance, triggered a full on apocalypse, which is okay.

I'm going to get all bossy here. Please take everything I'm saying here with a grain of salt, and delete this comment entirely if you think I'm being a righteous b*Tch.....

Firsties: you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

In fact: Don't force yourself to do things you don't want to do. Forcing yourself to eat foods you don't like is not going to help your weight loss-- it's going to make you feel depressed and anti-satiated. If veggies are a challenge, keep working at it until you find the combos you like, but dont' force yourself to eat raw veggies if you don't like them!

Secondly: Being a recovering foodie is like being a recovering alcoholic, socially. Your friends and family have developed relationships with you that involve an understanding of food in a way that no longer works, you're changing the rules. This is confusing to those who've built up habits that show love/ affection/ joy/ commiserate over chocolate cake. It's up to you to show them how they can communicate with you with food now. How you do this is your call-- but generally, people that love you want to support you in your endeavors, but they need clear guidelines from you directly how to do it. Anything from offering a cooking night challenge where everyone brings foods that are made-over as healthier options to bringing your own snacks to show those you love what you are eating now... there's a ton of ways to do it-- but they can't change to your needs until your make your needs clearly known.

Thirdly: You are a unique experiment all your own. Sparks numbers are off, but so are HRMs-- they might show cals burned now, but they don't reflect your BMR, or the residual burn that happens after a work out. Use your trackers as data for reflection and planning-- if the numbers don't add up, change them. But you don't have to work out 2 hours every day or cut yourself down to 1200 calories, extremes are not going to help you acheive a healthy lifestyle. Extremes will only make you crazy. Look at your tracker and how much you're consuming, and look at your exercise regimen. If you're not losing, play with the numbers-- try upping protein for two weeks and see what happens, or fiber. Try less exercise minutes, but a different exercise. You need to find what works for you, and YOU WILL, but it's just playing with it.


Lastly: Thank you so much for sharing this here. I don't think there is one person here who hasn't been in a similar spot-- frustrated with a program that's not working, with family that's not understanding, with weight that won't gd come off... You can and will do this, because you are resilient, strong, beautiful, and determined. You have the will, because you've been exercising, you've been doing it. You can do this. I'm on your sidelines, cheering you on like madwoman.

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HAPPYERIN 3/6/2013 12:27PM

    Ugh, that is frustrating! No wonder you're feeling so upset!

I could echo what many people have said already. Main focus is healthier eating, healthier exercise, healthier mindset. It sounds like your gadget has had a negative impact and should be put in a box for a while. From what I've heard, 1200 calories is really if you are getting no exercise, so there is NO WAY you should be that low in range.

The friends-giving-you-food thing is tough. I admit that a friend once offered me a brownie as a thank you for helping her finish a project. Five minutes after she walked away, I through it in the trash so that I wouldn't end up eating it. It KILLED me (love brownies) but was easier than telling her I couldn't have it. Or sometimes I'll take it home and freeze it for a special day, if that's an option.

Chin up, sweetie! Give yourself a few days and see how you feel. Gadget or no, you have been doing wonderfully and you can keep on going!

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LISAMG1220 3/6/2013 11:59AM

    Wow I can feel your frustration in your blog. I completely understand how you feel and I agree with everybody else. Quit looking at the numbers for a little bit and keep doing what you are doing. I think 1200 calories is entirely too little, you will not have enough energy to fuel your workouts and then your body will go into fat hoarding mode.

What brand of HRM is it? Are there any negative reviews? Just a thought. I was going to purchase a fitbit zip, now I am nervous.

I understand about the friends/family and food thing. I struggle with this all the time with my Hubby. He shows his love with food and treats.....how do I say no without hurting him. On Saturday I said babe, I feel like you don't want me to keep off the weight and that you do not like the new me. He said yes babe I am so proud of you and how well you are doing. I said I need you to quit buying me junk food to show your love. PLEASE!

Just don't get so upset and frustrated that you give up and shut down. Keep fighting the fight my friend! I will fight right along with you.

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PITA_1988 3/6/2013 11:59AM

    A really super-smart friend gave me the following advice recently, and think it is pertinent now:

"I think that's why it's so important to shift the focus from weight loss to becoming healthy. We know that when we are following our eating and fitness plan, we know we are getting healthier, even when the scale isn't moving. "

Since you were losing weight before, what has changed? Keep doing what you were doing if it was working. Ignore the stupd numbers (bet you never thought you'd hear that from the math geek!).

We are all behind you 100%. emoticon


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67YKCEB 3/6/2013 11:59AM

    ..... Did you know that if you go to 5 different calorie count sites that you will get 5 different numbers for the same exercise? These wonderful little expensive weight loss toys are not created equally. And most of the time they use a male as a base line for those numbers ...... and we all know that we are not created equally.
I go by my clothes and my scale. My exercise bike gives me one number, my fitbit another, and sparks a third. .... so I never know how many calories I have burned. I use sparks to keep up with my food calories ..... and you should not go under 1200 calories a day!! So if your burning 1200 then you need to eating 2400. Cause if your not .... girl .... can we say major body shut down!! oh and no weight loss.
Personally I don't think we should use those toys as a way to keep up with our calories burned. I think they should just be to help us work out at the right intensity.
You need to make little business cards that say what you typed. To stop offering you food. That way when they do you can just give them that card, they will get the hint. .... And if they don't, then maybe you should just find a different friend.
You have a ton of friends on here that got your back and are supporting you and are going through the same mess that you are. ..... So pout away!!
And hey spring is coming so sunshine and rainbows are on their way!!
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ATTACKFATCAT 3/6/2013 11:37AM

    If you are not seeing results with doing things the way you did before the new HR monitor, and you really think you should shift down like that, could you try doing it slowly? I know it takes a little patience, but if you could try cutting your calories by 100 a day this week and then 100 a day next week until you reach the new range, it might make it a little easier and a little less miserable. You could do that and maybe just up your exercise a little. Maybe an extra 10-15 minutes a day? Even a little bit might make the difference and let you have a little higher calorie range.

I am kind of curious like the others are though. I'm sitting at 208 pounds, and when I put 1500 calories weekly burn into my fitness tracker (with an average goal of 1.5 pounds lost a week), it has me in a range of 1500-1800 calories each day (thereabouts). I'm not sure what your current weight is, but 1200-1500 seems a little low to me. If your average goal is higher, that might be why. And I guess that's where it really comes down to what you can do happily (and not just tolerate). Do you want to eat a little more? Then you may have to adjust your weekly average weight loss goal. Or you may have to exercise more. It doesn't have to make you absolutely miserable...you'll never stick to this long-term if it does. But it's all about figuring out what bugs you the least and going with that.

I would agree that SP's calorie burn rates are mostly overestimated. My HR monitor gave me a reality kick in the pants on that one. And I'm with you...the coworker/family pushing food thing is CRAZY in my life right now. When I dont' care, there's not a sweet treat to be found, but the moment I say no more, it's everywhere. Ugh!

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ABEAUTIFULMESS1 3/6/2013 10:40AM

    Does your HRM take into consideration your weight? I've always read that if you weigh more you're going to burn more calories when you exercise because it does take more effort for your body to complete those tasks/activities. I don't know if that might be a reason for the differences, but possibly something to look into?

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JENNCABA 3/6/2013 9:47AM

    I also noticed when I got my HRM that SparkPeople estimates were not very accurate. I know how frustrating it can be finding what works best. You will find it !!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SIMONEKP 3/6/2013 9:27AM

    emoticon yes, sadly, your new HRM is correct and SP estimates are way high. When I originally joined in 2011 I believed the estimates as because of that calorie range was too high, I barely lost any weight and got very discouraged after 3 months. This time around I wanted to get more accurate numbers, when I track I lower the duration of the activity on SP to get the right number of calories burned as measured by my HRM. I'm eating about 1370 calories daily, I hardly ever eat more and am not hungry so you may find it's not that bad. I would back down slowly from where you are now, maybe 100 calories less each week until you're in the range.

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LADYFROMTHEWOOD 3/6/2013 8:51AM

    The rainbows only arrive after the rain, right? So, pour it on us! We're your friends and WANT to hear what you are going though so we can offer our shoulders to cry on or lean on. I kept checking in yesterday for YOU, girlie! Waiting to hear what you were going through on your promised blog post. You matter so much.

Now, I have to agree with Lulubelle about the numbers. First of all, the exercise you're doing on a 1200-1500 range sounds wild to me. I'm no expert, but that sounds like too big of a deficit and possible starvation mode. Is SP not giving you that little warning on your fitness tracker about needing to update your expected weekly calories-burned? Just fiddle around to see what WORKS, and don't let yourself become distracted by the perfect math.

And that HRM sounds like it must be wonky. Seriously, go by your results instead of all these numbers. Your inner child will have a full-on rebellion if you don't find some peace with this! Does she have a name? Hubby and I actually have names for our inner "brats." His is Wesley b/c that was what his family called him when he was little and mirrored what his grandpa was doing. Mine is Number 1, b/c that's the nickname my dad gave me b/c I was the firstborn. And for other reasons, like her being a bit spoilt to get her way. It helps, I tell ya! Having the perfect name to address your innerchild by works wonders! It's much easier to address your innerchild if you say her name and treat her like a different part of you instead of letting her overpower you.

Do you have a ready line for those ppl who are kindly sabotaging your healthy life? Like, "I'm already full" or "I'm not your garbage can"? Seriously, it's not fair that we have to teach others how to change the way they treat us around food, but we are the ones who trained them to offer it to us in the first place with each time we said, "sure, I'd love to eat your leftover cake!" You are so intelligent, you will be able to get it across to them and their feelings won't suffer in the least. "Thank you, no, and please understand I need your support from now on so I will not be tempted to overeat or trigger my cravings. If you love me, then I know you'll help me do this by not even offering me food unless I ask for it."

We've got your back. And if you need us to come to your work or Easter dinner this month and beat a few ppl up, just say the word.
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ADARKARA 3/6/2013 8:13AM

    emoticon I have all the same questions as Lulu. Are you still losing?

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LULUBELLE65 3/6/2013 6:45AM

    Maybe you need to stop looking at those numbers for a while. Do your exercise, track it, but don't get caught up in the calorie deficit and all of that. Are you losing weight, however slowly? Do you feel stronger? Are you eating food that is healthy for your body? If you are eating fewer calories than you are expending, then you are going to lose weight.

Try focusing on the tape measure for a while, or completely change out your diet like I did with the vegan challenge. Focusing on that gave me something new to obsess about, and I ended up losing close to ten pounds that month.

I feel your pain--when I lowered my calories I thought I was going to die for the first few weeks. I still have a hard time once in a while, but I've figured out that it's easier to cut out a little bit of a lot of foods rather than a whole food--so I make my oatmeal for the week with three apples instead of five, which saves me about 40 calories a day. Changes like that add up and are less painful than giving up a snack.

And feel free to grumble and complain--that's why we're here. emoticon

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