Tuesday, March 05, 2013
That's what I feel like right now. Don't misunderstand. I had a strong day today--90 minutes of Zumba, an 1183 calorie deficit and appropriate ratios on my nutrients. So what's the problem this time, you ask?
I got my new HRM in. It very accurately measures my HR during exercise. But apparently I have been way overinflating my calories burned. And let me tell you folks something. If my HRM is accurate on calories burned, then SP's estimates are WAY off! My old HRM showed a calorie burn less than SP's estimate. I thought that made it accurate. Instead of burning 2500-3000 calories a week as I thought I was doing, it looks as if I was only burning 1500. I don't get it. I exercise consistently between 70-85% of my max heart rate. Note that I am shaking my head in disbelief and great sadness).
I don't want to do 90+ minutes of exercise a day. I don't want to limit myself to 1200-1500 calories a day. Folks, I'll go freakin' nuts. I have been in a full state of despair for the past 24 hours.
I'm going to make the changes, but Let me be honest here. It makes me really pissed off. I no longer feel joy about this journey. My inner child has already begun making plans to mutiny. She's the little rebel with a "you can't make me" attitude. She's usually right.
Here's another thing. I cannot cope with any more social/family temptations. Dear friends, family and co-workers--please stop offering me food I don't need. No more Chocolate cake or Butterfingers or whatever is left on your plate. I know that's your way of showing you love me, but I'm not that strong. I will screw up and make poor decisions on my own. That is not an invitation to offer me more junk. I need support, not temptation. I'm sorry I'm not fun to be around any more, but our food intensive lifestyle will kill me. With my new lower calorie restrictions, my cravings are going to be very difficult to manage. I won't have the extra willpower to cope with additional temptation.
GAH! I know I can "fill up on veggies" for greater satiety. However, I'm big on texture--as much as taste. I don't like crunchy, raw or undercooked veggies. I will eat them but they are not the focus of any of my meals. I don't like soup. Don't care much for smoothies as a meal replacement. I'm not crazy about most packaged junk food.
We'll see how the next couple of weeks go. However, I'm warning you dear friends, I'm likely to be in a major pout for awhile. If you're looking for sunshine and rainbows, you're probably not going to get much of that from me. I've got to do some readjusting mentally so that I can come to terms with this sucky new reality.
Good night. I'm worn out and hungry. Going to bed.