Tuesday, March 05, 2013
The rain on my window tonight reminded me of this scripture and all of the tears I have shed into the ear of the Lord. I am sure the Lord must think that I am trying to drown Him/Her with the river of tears, especially these last two weeks.
Just when I think that I am making progress ( the day without tears last week) I find that I am farther back, or so it seems, than I was a month ago. Maybe it is because people think that I should be past this and aren't as "concerned" about me, maybe it is because this is just the way my grief will manifest itself, maybe ..who knows what or why. I know that I am sad and feel so alone and I have to adjust someway sometime.
I don't want to rush the process but I am physically tired and am concerned that my tears will cause people to turn away not knowing what to do or how to help. I will see my dr. next week sometime and try to talk to him. I say try because sometimes the words don't come, just tears.
Lord, I have cried so many tears and flooded you with the. I ask that you wrap me in your contentment, dry my tears, and help me move forward in Your peace, knowing that Ed is with You and that we will be together again one day.