Tuesday, March 05, 2013
I am slowly begining to see the big picture behind lifestyle choices. I am begining to see how a little piece of chocolate here, or a diet coke there, even if calorie range is met, can really hurt me in the long run. I am becoming aware of my daily energy levels, and how eating/drinking empty calories dramatically effects my energy levels, and my overall "feel good" vibes. I know it's simple thinking, but this simple thinking has kept me from making small bad decisions, that could easily lead to large bad decisions, and ultimately self loathing, wieght gain, and lethargy. This is my cycle, I know it well and I am attempting, to the best of my ability to catch myself before I fall too hard. I'm not saying I'm never going to have a sweet or a diet drink again.............then again, maybe I won't. I mean, why do I need to, what is it doing for me? Nothing! When I eat that way, I feel bad emotionally, because I feel like I've let myself down. I feel bad physically, because I am dumping worthless/harmful toxins into my temple of a body. And it's not about beating myself up because I've "failed" anymore, because I'm not on a diet, or in a race, I'm on a lifelong journey towards better nutrition, higher energy and better quality of life, for life. I know I say this same thing over and over, but when you live one way for 13 years, it's hard to just instantly switch all the thoughts, feelings and actions in healthy ways.
Tim starts another job, leaves tonight. We'll see how this one pans out. It is nice he has options, but until he's happily employed, for over a couple of months, I'm going to be a little unsure as to what is next in this area for us. If we could both be happily employed, for over a year, I don't know what we would do! It's been years since that has happened. I'm anxious to see what this new job holds for him. When he's unhappy in work, I'm unhappy because I hate to see him depressed, and hurting. I'd rather him collect cans, than be employed in a place that where he is treated badly, or his health or safety is in jeopardy. So, fingers crossed, this will work out. If not this, then I'm sure the road will lead to another bright horizon. I must say, I'm so thankful that I've been employed at the same place for 4 years, it is a good feeling. Especially now that the shop is doing so well. I'm making enough to support us, not lavishly........but we can survive. So, I'm really hoping he finds something that he likes, that isn't too taxing on him, or us.
I'm still dreaming up all the particulars behind my photography adventure. I've been given so much great advice, and now it's just down to money. I don't want to invest money in printing and frames until Tim is back to steady work. I'm sure there are more important things than printing/selling photographs (for fun)....like paying rent and eating healthy food! But I think about it everday. I was up til 1:00 am thinking about it and researching ways/places/ideas for what I'm going to do, which shots to print and what size. I'm really excited. Baby steps, baby steps!!
I went to a park about 30 mins from the house that my boss has been telling me of for awhile. It was so lovely. Lot's of hiking/biking trails, water, ducks, tons of picnic area, just lovely. I am so glad I took the time to check it out. It was really inspiring. There are a few really nice hiking trails outside my Mom's town, but most of them are still too hard for me. I am pushing myself, but I know my limits! So this new park/trails are more my speed. Lot's of options according to skill level, and overall just really peaceful and lovely. It's taken me quite a few years to find some of the hidden gems around here, but it's been so exciting everytime I discover another one. The drive we took out to the park was so lovely. Small, quaint backroads, winding along farmhouses and lot's of farm animals. So gorgeous. I still have to pinch myself sometimes when I realize I actually live here!! I dreamt of moving up here from the desert most of my life. Now that I'm here, I sometimes take it for granted, but every once in awhile it's just too awesome to ignore! This weekend was one of those times. And to think, I nearly left all of it this summer to head back to the desert again.............crazy lady! I do like the desert, don't get me wrong, it is not without it's wonders. But something about living where everything grows is just awe inspiring. I must admit, I love California so much. I know being raised here, I should be used to it, and it does come with some challenges, but wow, it has some phenomenal beauty here. And even though I've lived in the far north, central, and south, I still have not seen it all. What a state!!!!
OK, I'm gonna stop selling the state to all you nice people! Come visit, if you don't live here already, I'm sure you'll fall in love too!!
Spark on, spark big, whatever you do, just spark!!!!!