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The Upcoming Challenge For Me... Choosing To Live.

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Tuesday, March 05, 2013

One of my greatest fears is economic uncertainty. Those fears have come to pass and now I have to deal with them.

The mine where I work is on the chopping block and a year from now, I may be totally out of work depending on how deep the cuts go, range wide bumping by seniority etc... I am seemingly fearless is so many areas but this is what paralyzes me. Rumors and speculation have been floating around for years but now it is official.

News Link

At first, I was in total damage control / panic mode, was going to drop out of all my events, and just build a bunker and wait for the end to come. In this economy, losing your job is like a death sentence and losing your home is almost a certain thing judging from the collapse we have witnessed over the last few years. I feel betrayed and cheated out of life. After working so hard only to lose it all because of something that is out of my control, it is hard to maintain my composure.

I was even going to give up my big race, my 70.3. Yup, the race I had talked about for so long and have come so far to position myself to do.

Race Link:

Even my classes I have worked so hard to start doing this Fall and studying for my ACE certification seemed pointless and unimportant. My feelings change from day to day. Some days I deal with it and keep a stiff upper lip, others, I want to crawl into a bunker and shut the door behind me.

It's amazing how courage can vaporize in the face of a crisis, but then again, if courage isn't proven, is it really courage?

After a talk with a friend of mine and some serious thinking, I have decided to move forward with everything. Its one of the hardest things I have ever done. Like someone with a serious illness, your disease will eat you up mentally and emotionally before it takes you physically.

So it is with fear of the unknown.

Then from the videos of the Ironman, a story comes to mind. The story of Jon Blais (AKA Blazeman). He finished the Hawaiian Ironman a few years ago which is a big accomplishment in and of itself but he also had ALS or Lou Gehrigs disease. Basically the disease is a death sentence. No cure. One of his last things he did on this Earth was to train for the Ironman to raise ALS awareness and hopefully raise money for research. Any cure found wouldn't save him but it might save someone else.

Links about Jon Blais-

I had watched his story with a certain passiveness until I found myself in this situation. Now I draw strength. He didn't allow his condition to destroy him, he chose to live and not only live but spend the last days of his life in the most meaningful manner possible.

While I am not going to die, a part of my life is going to pass away and my future is uncertain. In a way, I too feel like I have been given a terminal report. Do I give into fear when it wraps itself around me and threatens to drain every ounce of will out of me or do I choose life?, to live for NOW and make it meaningful? Or do I surrender and give up on everything I have worked for because there isn't any will to fight? Why bother starting anything when I will be begging them not to take my home, watching them tow my car off, flicking a light switch and nothing happens because power was shut off for non-payment. Why bother....

Those are my fears. Its out there for all the world to see and I don't care. I am a real person with real feelings and I get scared just like the next man.

It will be a difficult journey but I choose to live.

I choose not to let fear rob me of my life and kill my desire to live my dreams. 10 years from now I will look back at this with no regrets because I gave it my all in the face of my greatest opponent. I will do what I can to prepare but I will not allow myself to shut down, to lock up and freeze because of panic.

Not only that but I owe it to others to be strong. That it is possible to overcome and achieve and not only when things are going your way.

Today I choose to be strong, Today I choose to do what is in front of me and have faith that in the end, it will be worth it all.

I made my reservations for my triathlon and the show will go on.

Thank you Jon Blais for showing me what real courage is. Rest In Peace.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Bad things happen to good people. This might be the best thing to happen to you. You just need to analyze the situation. The worst thing you can do is panic. When you panic you are not looking at the situation in a rational and comprehensive manner. Look at what skills you have, consider what skills you might need to acquire or take a transfer. There is a lottta, lotta people who have similar situations. I read an article recently about a family that lives happily on $14,000 a year.

    Keep your hope and try not to stress! Just use that energy in a positive way to make necessary plans. emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
  • v NUMD97
    I agree with GREYLOCKES1 stance: Run the marathon, because it will give you mental fortitude, but at the same time be practical and update your resume. There are things out there that you haven't begun to explore yet, v.v. the talents that you possess. I have heard many stories like yours, that when the bottom was kicked out from under them, they forged forward because they had to: Families to support, mouths to feed, you get the idea. You are an incredibly insightful man, Robert, who can dig deep and examine what few would like to explore. You know yourself better than most do, and that will carry you. Plus the fact that you have a loving wife, and loving children. They will see you through this, without a doubt.

    Widen your net, and explore literally all the contacts however remote, that you possess, and call on all of them. It's the only way.

    I wish you nothing but the best,

    1234 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/7/2013 1:36:52 PM
    There is nothing to fear, but fear itself. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

    I've also been through a major life change, where my spouse died suddenly, leaving me and our very young children wondering what in the world just happened! But note, we've been through it ... I prefer it didn't happen ... but I have extremely limited ability to see the future. He (God) sees the big picture. Our hope and future is in our Creator's hands, and I choose to trust Him fully.

    By the way, we are now better than okay, we are great!
    1234 days ago
  • v CLOVER2
    It's that age old adage....just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes this is so incredibly hard. Whether it is physical or mental, we sometimes don't WANT to keep "working on it". But it shows how strong and how much courage you really do have just to lift that foot up and put in back down, in front of you.
    This was a fantastic blog, thank you so much for sharing with us.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1234 days ago
    As someone who has worked for a company that was sold twice and put on the layoff list I feel your angst. You are too good to waste time worrying about what might be. Work on what you can control and enjoy the day. Prepare your resume and figure out how to reinvent your self. You have many skkills that can transfer to other positions. Explore the possibilities. I will keep you in my prayers.
    1234 days ago
  • v BRONZE50
    Loved your blog. Your courage inspires me. Will keep you in my prayers.
    1235 days ago
    God will show you the way, like others said, things happen for a reason. We get tested on a daily basis, keep your believe and faith strong. God will work miracles in your life. :)
    1235 days ago
    you can do it
    1235 days ago
    I'm sure things will work out. Your courage and persistence in the face of adversity will be beneficial should you need to find new employment.
    1235 days ago
    God has a plan for all of us, like many have said, things do happen for a reason. We just can't see it right away, we only look at the necessities of now, God had a greater plan for you. Just believe, and faith will take control and God will do wonders in your life. :)
    1235 days ago
  • v BMCKEOW1
    You've got such great courage. Good for you for keeping with your plans. It's not easy when you don't know what the future can hold. But maybe, just maybe this will be a good thing, maybe what awaits you is so much better.
    1235 days ago
    I so admire your commitment!
    1235 days ago
  • v TRACYLYNN853
    1235 days ago
    Great post
    1235 days ago
    If it came to pass, this too, shall pass.
    1235 days ago
  • v MARYM1962
    Life is HARD I am glad that you have decided to give it a go. You will make it, just maybe not the way you thought you would.
    1235 days ago
    emoticon Good luck to you!
    1235 days ago
    1235 days ago
  • v RUFFIT
    emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
  • v SPUD3193
    1235 days ago
  • v NEWMOM20121
    You are showing such strength. Well done.
    1235 days ago
    God doesn't give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, of power and a strong mind. 2 Tim 1:7. Have faith and courage to step through the doors your loving Father will open for you. The end of one job does not spell the end of everything, but gives you fresh opportunities for bigger and better things. It is so good to hear you are choosing not to be paralyzed by fear. You will do great things. Thank you for sharing!
    1235 days ago
    Robert, I know you and you are TOO STRONG to let this get you down. You have overcome much tougher hurdles than this one, so I will be praying that this is just a blessing in disguise. That this causes you to go after your passions with more focus, determination and harder than ever and that it results in you being able to live a life more full of joy and purpose than you ever have.
    1235 days ago
    You can look for work elsewhere that will give you a sense of security and stability. Never give up!!!!
    1235 days ago
  • v JLEMUS1
    Hell yeah, we are all worried about the economy, but we must emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
    All things happen for a reason; sometimes it just takes a while to figure out the reason. You are definitely on the right track.... keep going, keep doing and most importantly keep honest, be aware, be strong, be the wonderful person you are.

    There is a light at the end of this tunnel and if you keep on keepin' on, you'll move closer to it daily. There is something better on the horizon!! There is!!!

    emoticon & blessings

    1235 days ago
    Keep it going!
    1235 days ago
    I really like what you said. I just heard someone else say, "there's no shame in being afraid, what you've got to do is figure out what you're afraid of and put a face on it." Sharing your fears with us, facing them, not only shows amazing strength on your part, it also helps others. It helps me. My problems and fears are completely different but now I don't feel as alone. Now I feel stronger. Now I can appreciate what I have, and fight the good fight. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you! Just remember you are awesome!

    1235 days ago
    Excellent blog, Robert!!
    1235 days ago
    It takes bravery to admit your fear. ...and that fear is one that we all share in common. I am praying for you this morning....that God would lead and direct you to a new path in life, one that HE has lined up for you. I pray that God would direct your steps and that you would consider HIm as a source of help for you.

    May God bless, keep and prosper you. emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
    emoticon very inspiring!!!
    1235 days ago
  • v WINWIN1
    emoticon Some of the people who have lost jobs over the economy have found themselves free to pursue avenues that have made them so much more fulfilled. Great blog! Thank you.
    1235 days ago
    God is so faithful to open new doors when old ones close. Be ready for the adventure of your life!
    1235 days ago
    Que Sera Sera - so might as well stick to plans. Life happens. emoticon
    1235 days ago
    Good running.

    I went back to school at 39 when the bottom fell out of semiconductors and all my customers were moving to China and Malaysia and Mexico. People told me i was brave to be a student at that old, but I saw the wall and bravery didnt come into play.

    Find a way around the wall. You will succeed.
    1235 days ago
    Good lu emoticon ck!
    1235 days ago
  • v MADZI88
    Except for professional athletes, sports isn't an end in and of itself (in my opinion, of course). It's a way to learn and place a magnifying glass over certain areas of our life journey. Looks like you're choosing to use this race to do just that. Once the race is done, after doing everything you can to be successful at it and during it, you can then apply lessons learned in other areas...such as employment searches.
    You write extremely well. You may want to investigate that area, even if it's merely to express yourself and hold things together until something more lucrative comes along.
    I'm betting on you. You're honest with yourself and unafraid to uncover the hidden demons you encounter. And as life pathways are determined by the choices we make, your choosing to go forward with the race is a positive step in the proper direction. My best wishes and, this morning, my prayers go with you.
    1235 days ago
  • v 123ELAINE456
    So many positive things has been said already. Trust in God and He will see your though thls. Maybe a new field of work will open up. Something that You will like much better and not shift work. You have come so far and you have the motivation to keep moving forward. We are here for You and your Family. You can accomplish any thing you set your mind to. So go for it. You have come so far. Thank You for choosing to Live. You can do it. Praying for you. Good Luck Ironman in the Race. Keep Pushing Forward. God Blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Marvelous Day. Take Care.
    1235 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/7/2013 2:49:54 AM
    1235 days ago
  • v BLUEJEAN99
    emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
  • v BELLE0308
    I am all for you moving forward. You have brought up something that is a fear to all of us these days. So many people out of work and trying to make it. It gets tougher all the time. I believe that if you can keep your attitude up, you will be able to accomplish anything! GO FOR IT!!! We are ALL behind you! emoticon
    1235 days ago
    Keep the strength. emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
  • v MERCEDES2013
    I will be praying for you. Not 20 minutes ago, an associate in my business told the same story to those of us on the training call. He talked of the struggles and how he reached out and started over in our business and is doing great! Good luck on all the races in life, but I feel that you have already overcome! Xo. God bless you! emoticon
    1235 days ago
    1235 days ago
  • v JAMER123
    Hooray for you choosing life! The economy is a big worry for most of us, not knowing what tomorrow is to bring. You have written a great blog and I know you are strong & will be able to hang in there! The future can hold some great things for you!
    So glad you got signed up for the triathalon!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
  • v NIKKIJ55
    Good luck and I am sure you will come out stronger in the end
    1235 days ago
  • v THOMS1
    emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
    Been thinking of you and others ever since the news broke. emoticon
    1235 days ago
    1235 days ago
    Bravo to you for choosing life! You've got what it takes to succeed no matter the circumstances. You've proved that time and again. Hang in there. We're all in this together.

    BTW, if you wrote a book, I'd buy it. I'm just sayin'...


    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1235 days ago
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