Me: "Hey SJs, any chance that you'll fit today?"
SJs: "Did I fit in December?"
Me: "No",
SJs: "Did I fit in January?"
​Me: "No",
​SJ: "Tell me, did I fit in February? Did I?"​​
Me: "No... in fact I still couldn't pull you up past my thi..."
SJs: "THEN IT'S HARDLY LIKELY THAT I'LL FIT TODAY IS IT?!"
Me: "No need to be rude".

This is what life has come to​; being ​sneered at by ​bargain ​denim from ebay​. All ​while I curse like a cartoon villain​ "I'll get you next time, Stubborn Jeans!".