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good bad days.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Today, the fire alarm in my building went nuts again as I was in the middle of forcing myself through a plyometrics workout. Have I mentioned that I don't hate working out, my body does? I enjoy exercising, but man, convincing myself to get up and do it already? I suck at that. I'm really into P90x right now, because everything is done for 30 seconds or less. (sometimes a minute if the moves are slower) It kicks my butt. and then makes it firmer. ;) The point is, today I was cut down to 30 minutes instead of 60 and (not so) secretly I'm OK with that.

My first blog entry may have been a bit misleading. I have lost a significant amount of weight in the past year and a half, but I have to tell you, I don't feel like it shows at all. I had two c-sections just a year apart and I've pretty much considered myself a disaster zone from the belly button down ever since. I've never had a problem being a bigger girl. I'm certainly not calling myself model material, but I do ok. When I was younger being big meant still having a firm belly, having curves and full, high breasts, and thighs that touch. Nothing... pendulous, nothing soft and squishy like rising bread going on... You can probably tell from my choice of words how I feel now. I'm hoping between my 5th floor walk-up and my new fitness plan, I can change these things, go back to sweet, curvy Ceecee, the wild, free spirited girl who never though twice about jumping into the fun (or the fray).

So today is a good bad day. t was hard to find motivation. I'm a little extra in hate with my body. The fire alarm went off when I finally did force myself to get up- but it gave me an excuse to chase babies instead of running in place. The scale doesn't love me, but my pants still fit better than yesterday. I have cellulite on my thighs and even my upper arms, but I'm doing something to change it. I feel like I'm lazy and I have no motivation, but I burned 345 calories before noon.

Happiness is a choice. I'm choosing it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have two pictures of myself at 180 pounds: one is from 1997 when my daughter graduated from high school, and I look HUGE because I never exercised. The other is from 2010 and I look MUCH smaller because I was walking regularly, hiking, and working out at the fitness center. It was just my EATING that was totally whack.

    So I understand where you are now, but I'd like to suggest that you talk more kindly of that body that has done such amazing things for you so far: it has birthed two wonderful children, it contains a totally unique and fabulous woman, and it is loved by parents, siblings, children, and a husband.

    As far as motivation? When I stayed at home I always found it best to set a deadline for myself: NO LUNCH until workout, for instance. Good luck, and be kind to yourself!

    1842 days ago
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