Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Drat, I tried my best but my emotions got the better of me! I am so mad at myself that I gave in but the stress at work is eating me alive!! So, I didn't work all last week thanks to my manager. So I emailed him for a update to see if I would be able to take my breaks. He tells me that he met with Lauren, the union rep, and they both agreed that there shouldn't be any breaks. So I talked with my friend who is a union secretary/treasurer and he said that I would have to go through the union first and then to state. So since the union wasn't on my side, I called the state. They said that I would have to go through the union. I'm stuck stuck stuck!
All of this stress has forced me into eating more then I should, by a lot. Some days I eat 2000+, other its 3000+. Its only been for a few weeks and I've been able to hang on this long but 2 lbs! Eck! I am mad at myself for it because I feel like my manager is trying to get me out. I quit smoking for 2 days but then he added in more issues and I couldn't stop. Normally when we have a holiday, he puts out a sign in list. This time, he just let the cal land as is and that meant I would be working. I sent him a email saying he normally puts a list out and I can't work it. He emails me back and says "oh, so you can work it, and you want to work it." In the end, I have it off and I'm getting holiday pay but it seems like he's trying everything to make me snap. The issue is, I'm taking it all out on myself! I'm 2 lbs more and I'm smoking! It really gets to me because I'm getting my wedding dress fitted on Sunday and I've worked so hard to lose the weight.
I'm starting back on track today, I didn't track for the last few days because I was doing so many wrong things to myself. I have fitbit and I haven't walked or done anything more than 2000 steps a day. I have to stop taking my emotions out on my body.
I feel trapped, and when I feel trapped and stressed, I don't want to workout, I don't want to eat right and I give in to those urges! Someone, if you could give me some pearls of wisdom or a kind word, it would be greatly appreciated.