Monday, March 04, 2013
My 6 week bootcamp started this morning. At 5:30am. I was scared. No, I was terrified. Absolutely terrified. I thought I was going to be judged for my size, for my weight for my (lack of) fitness level. It was terrifying. Like I mentioned in my last blog, I bought a Groupon for this boot camp. I almost didn't buy it because I was scared. I almost didn't go to the first weigh in because I was afraid of being judged, of being laughed at. I almost didn't go to the first class because I was afraid it was going to be hard or that I wouldn't be able to do it or keep up.
But you know what? I went and I did it. It was hard and I had to slow down sometimes. But I still did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and broke through that fear. It was hard. So so hard. But I know it will be worth it. I faced my fears and I really think it paid off.
The people doing this challenge are all so different. Different shapes, different sizes. What we all have in common is that we are all trying to change our lives. I wasn't the biggest one there, and I certainly wasn't the smallest, but I immediately felt accepted. We were all cheering for each other and rooting for each other and pushing each other to keep going, to keep pushing. Because we're all in it together. We have to be there for each other. Granted, today was the first day, but it's going to get harder. I feel confident that if I felt accepted and encouraged on the first day, my fellow challengers will be there rallying around me and encouraging me on every day to come, regardless of my size. So I was scared. But I got up and I went anyway. And it hurt. I could barely move when I was done. But soreness after a workout has never felt so sweet.
I've been doing this 25 Before 25 list (you can read more about it on my main page) and I've realized that most of the things on my list are scary. In fact, they're absolutely terrifying. But I'm doing them. Because this whole year I want to step outside of my comfort zone and really push myself to be better. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to live the most awesome life that I can. I was born to be awesome. And to be my most awesome self, I need to break through my fears and do the things that scare me the most - because those are often the most rewarding. And that's exactly what I'm doing. My list and this 6 week fit challenge are hard and they're scary. Absolutely terrifying. But I'm doing them so I can be awesome.