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    BLUEROSE73   107,017
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I am so mad at Hubby

Monday, March 04, 2013

I'm really getting tired of this. He just won't quit. I don't know how much longer I can put up with these things.

The first one - last December, we made an arrangement. We were at the dance competion in Vegas, and he could see how much I missed dancing. It was written all over my face. We talked about it, and he was okay with me getting back into it. Lessons are a trip - 10 hour drive each way. Then competitions, etc. I also need to practice. It's a big commitment, but I miss it so much even 4 years later.

Well, so much for his support. when I mentioned I may not be ready to compete in Calgary, he asked when I'm going to cancel my hotel room. The entire time we were talking about competitions, I told him the other canadian one is in Edmonton in the fall. He basically wouldn't hear of it. It's another 10 hour drive, but it's not flights, etc.

He's pushed me too far with this one. I'm going to do my best to compete in Calgary. And I'm going to Edmonton. I've also decided I'm going to Chicago this summer as well - another competition.

These weekends are AMAZING. They are not only competition. There are up to 5 additional dance floors of lessons going on. All day. Social dancing every night. A big show on Saturday night - many people dress pretty formal for it.

I've decided there will be no more discussion on these. I will tell him when I'm booking flights, and he's welcome to sit in the seat next to me. That's it. We won't discuss these as holidays, etc anymore.

Yesterday he got mad at me for putting some salad fixings in the cart. I got the smallest container of strawberries. I figured I'd use half for salads - there were 3 days of salads needed to be made. The other half could be used in some home made ice cream and frozen. Well, he got pissy. So I gave up. I took every scrap of salad fixings out of the cart and put them back. Refused to eat anything yesterday. There's no WAY he's going to dictate what I can eat, and when I can eat it. He can go to HE!!

I figured a nights sleep would help. I guess not. I guess now I've got to decide if I want to be dragged to Vegas or not. I'm leaning towards not!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLSKIDS10 3/15/2013 12:08PM

    Bluerose, I am married also, but IMHO (like another said) 20 hr drive just for dance lessons???? i would be a little miffed too, especially if that was the only time i got to see my hubby and spend time with him. so, i am happy you found something that you like to do. however, if you and your husband don't get to spend much time together during the week, i can DEFINITELY understand why he doesn't like this idea.

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DJ4HEALTH 3/5/2013 8:45PM

    I wish that I had my husband just to talk to him. He passed on Feb 11,2013

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JUSTME29 3/4/2013 10:59PM

    You guys have had the grocery issue before, seems to crop up during times of stress. Doesn't make it easier though. I hope the two of you can work things out in time to enjoy Vegas together.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 3/4/2013 7:57PM

    OH KATRINA THIS JUST BREAKS MY HEART FOR YOU, IF YOU CAN GET TO THE COMPETITION GO AND ENJOY YOURSELF AND PLEASE MAKE US A VIDEO

TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE NOT BEEN DOING MANY OF THE THINGS YOU LOVED SO MUCH ANYMORE AND I INCLUDE THE RUNNING IN THAT
I AM FINDING OUT THAT LIFE IS TO SHORT AND I THINK YOU REALIZE THAT TO RIGHT NOW, DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

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GUBITNIK 3/4/2013 2:40PM

    I'm only saying this, because I think a bit of different perspective might help.
I don't think he is being deliberatly unhelpful with his first comment.
It sounds like he was taking it on face value, and didn't see that the idea of not going was emotionally upsetting for you.

It is great that you have a sport that you love.
But 20 hour drive time to lessons?!.
I wouldn't be happy, if my partner gave up that much of his week to any kind of hobby.
Have you ever thought about starting your own group, and organising lessons locally?






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3016DEBRA 3/4/2013 2:36PM

  I don't understand why you put the salad items back! emoticon
If anything, I probably would have added a couple more, lol!
You have to try to make him understand why or how these competitions are so beneficial to you - that means you'll have to sit down & communicate.
Men & women speak different languages sometimes, you know. If he still doesn't seem interested, then I would book my flight and let him know how much he missed out on! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STITCH4EVER 3/4/2013 2:36PM

    I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH A MAN LIKE THIS FOR 19 YEARS. TRUST ME ON THIS - MINE IS MUCH WORSE! THINGS THAT I CAN'T EVEN WRITE ABOUT ON THE INTERNET. IT FINALLY HIT ME A FEW MONTHS AGO, THAT I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE HIM. SO I STARTED TO CHANGE ME. I DETERMINED WHAT I WOULD AND WOULDN'T TAKE AND SIMPLY SAT HIM DOWN AND TOLD HIM. I ALSO TOLD HIM THIS WAS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION. SETTING THE GROUND RULES HAS MADE ME FAR HAPPIER AND HE HASN'T REALLY BUGGED ME SINCE. IN FACT, HE HAS BECOME SOMEWHAT SUPPORTIVE. GOOD LUCK. BUT REMEMBER - PICK YOUR FIGHTS. MAKE SURE WHAT YOU ARE GOING FOR IS REALLY IMPORTANT. BECAUSE IT COULD MEAN THE END OF A MARRIAGE IF YOU GO AFTER EVERY LITTLE THING YOU DISLIKE ABOUT HIM.
ERIN

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MARCIAC10 3/4/2013 1:00PM

    Let me ask you this: how did it help you by putting back all the salad fixings? And refusing to eat yesterday? We've all done things like this: childish behaviors. I've done them, everyone has. But now that I'm getting older I seem to have a better perspective. You're only punishing yourself by putting the salad things back on the shelves. Same with not eating.

As to the dancing competitions: is DH worried about the money? Or does he not want to go with you? I think you should sit down and have a discussion about it to find out how he feels about it and what you can do to make both of you happy about the competitions.



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COWGRLKT 3/4/2013 10:49AM

    Remember why you married him? Remember why you love him?

Try to focus on the good things about him. Do something everyday to make sure he feels loved and appreciated. Take time out of your day every day to do something for him.

A lot of times we become so focused we miss the big picture. Remember the good things and you will see more of the good things.

Good luck. Go home and kiss him and remember why you love him so much. If you married him, he must be wonderful, so don't forget that part! Focus on that and see what works out!
emoticon

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THEEXERCISER 3/4/2013 10:40AM

    It sounds like your husband is not very supportive and that stinks. Hopefully he will come around and be there for you. Regardless keep up the great work and don't loose your spunk to become a happier and healthier person.

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3G1RLS4ME 3/4/2013 10:33AM

    Sorry men can be more stubborn then they'd like to admit" I'm going to be facing the same thing in late April with a 3 day retreat it'll def shock him but I need this for me you do what you have to do for you and pray hell change his ways

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