BLC 17- WUB #6: Struggling a bit... seems to be the theme this week!
Sunday, March 03, 2013
Another week down! I completed all of the challenges, but I'm feeling like I'm struggling a bit.
As some of you know, my husband and I decided to try to have another baby. I say try because I have PCOS, which affects fertility, so I'm not sure what is going to happen, but anyway, this relates to weight loss because I have altered my calories and exercise to be a little more "conception-friendly."
As far as fitness is concerned, I stopped using my rebounder and bought myself a stationary recumbent bike, which I love! I walked for a few days this week, but it was by my lonesome, so I was incredibly bored. I really like the bike though, and feel like I get a nice, low impact workout that I can continue doing even if I am able to get pregnant.
As far as food goes, instead of staying as close to 1200 calories as I can manage, I'm shooting for 1400-1500 calories per day. This is still technically in my Spark calorie range, but there is a HUGE difference between 1200 and 1500 calories! I feel like I'm overeating and it has been a little hard to adjust. Sometimes it feels great, and other times I feel really guilty.
And the guilt feels worse because my weight loss has slowed down so much. I know that it isn't just because of the increased calories because it slowed down before I even upped my calories, but I "only" lost 6 pounds in February, although my goal was initially 10 pounds, which I then revised to 8 pounds. I keep trying to tell myself that the closer I get to my goal weight (39.8 pounds to go!), the slower my weight loss is going to be, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed.
I also feel kind of guilty because I think I should care more about not meeting my goals. It isn't that I am remotely wanting to throw in the towel, but I just know that I would rather be moderate, have a moderate weight loss, and have a better chance of getting pregnant than push myself, meet higher weight loss goals, but have less chance of conceiving.
I don't know... I'm having a hard time explaining how I'm feeling. I guess it boils down to my heart feeling like I'm on the right path to where I need and want to be, but my brain telling me that anything less than perfection isn't acceptable.