sunday and climbing out of the funky blue deep sea of despair
Sunday, March 03, 2013
The last 2 months havent been easy ones for me...days dragging by, cold winter and rain and wind and of course, as stated, the broken foot keeping me from the walking track, has left me depressed.
Friends try so hard to lift my spirits and most of the time, they do and most of the time I am in an almost happy state of mind.
Maybe its just fear of the unknown that has kept me so scared and so worried.
But little by little I chip away at the burdens I have been carrying and I release them...it feels good to have a little bit of it gone from my mind and heart.
I have such a long road ahead of me.
Stress fracture is what the doctor called my break...well, he doesnt know about stress fractures!!!!
So, its time to man up and just face things head on...no more worrying about what lurks behind doorways or what I will find in a week, a month or a year...but time to just get myself on track.
Back to working out and really really working out.
Back to getting back!!!
These are not new words or concepts to me, and I cannot count the times since Dec that I have repeated them...but I take solice in the fact that, I have stuck to the idea of it.
The idea of continuing to lose weight, which I have.
I am down a total of 71 pounds since May 24 2012.
I had hoped to make the 100 lb mark by the 1 year anniversary.
With 11 or so weeks to go til then, hmmmm, I am not sure if that is going to happen....I guess its possible and under other circumstances where I could still walk daily for exercise and my metabolism was in burn mode and I was eating fewer calories...ok, I know, excuses...
So, no more excuses, this is just one more road block along the journey.
This too shall pass and I know I will make my goal, I might not make the date, but eventually I will make the goal.
Today is a lazy cold snowy Sunday, I have chops and beans cooking in the crock pot and am going to the tanning bed, the doc told me to continue with the higher doses of vitamin D and of course, I decided to add the tanning bed, maybe for the added sunlight and maybe to help my depression or at least maybe give me a little tan for when they send me to the looney bin...
sorry poor joke, I know.
The walking dead tonight, housecleaning and reading my Game of Thrones book and a long hot bath later....makes one a little happier, I hope.