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Diet Pills, My Driver's License and Donuts (EE/Healing-entry3)

Saturday, March 02, 2013

I've been going on a sentimental journey re-tracing my early bad eating habits, my roots, actually my root of all evil. emoticon emoticon emoticon After writing my last blog, I find myself a chubby pre-teen, solution, buying diet pills, they would sell them to kids back in 1977, no problem. I did take them without my parents knowledge, and also ate less because of them. I also started to take a nap, probably because I was exhausted from not having the proper fuel in my body. I did get skinny in Jr. High, I remember meeting a cute boy who liked the way I looked. I liked being thin and being able to tuck my shirt in without a flabby stomach. My dad also kidded me and said he didn't want me to weigh over 100 pounds, so I stayed that way for a while. A few years later, I got my driver's license, and a little bit after I graduated from High School, I began dating and when I would drive home from my boyfriends house I would go and buy 3 donuts to eat all alone in the car on my way home.
Looking back I think the relationships were not right and I felt empty, the boys were using me most likely, and I did not like myself, so I ate to fill what was missing. My donut phase didn't last too long, but it was another brick in my wall of a lifelong battle against food, that now I tear down to reach my full potential, to cleanse my-self, to reach wholeness and a new beginning, after years of a lifetime of self-medication, abuse to myself with food. I am slowly recovering, but it is a long process. I appreciate my fellow Spark friends, helping me along the way!

You light my path, as only Spark Angels can do!
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More entries to come, it feels amazing to come clean!

emoticon Inga emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WATERBABY4
    We all learn from our past; that's for sure.
    989 days ago
  • JAM2DREW
    So glad that you are able to go back and identify what caused you to get to where you are today so you can take positive steps forward.
    1299 days ago
  • BRAVEONE92
    Inga, I am glad that you went back to visit your
    past. I hope that you are able to leave all that
    behind now, and continue to work on being
    a healthy, happy woman. You are a wonderful
    woman. Don't you ever forget it! emoticon emoticon
    1300 days ago
  • _BACK2BASICS_
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    It's amazing what some life experience and knowledge can do for us. Oh if we only knew then what we know now. Thank you for sharing. Keep up the great work of taking care of yourself in a healthy way. You are worth it!
    1301 days ago
  • LADYMARCIA1
    Inga, Good for you for revisiting the past and are now able to put it behind. I could relate to all of what you said. I took everything, including laxatives to loose the weight. Then came the Phen Phen solution. I used that, lost a lot of weight, developed heart damage and then gained it back.
    So here you are being such a positive inspiration on SparkPeople. Keep up the great work and most of all, be happy! You are a strong survivor.
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    1301 days ago
  • JUST_BREATHE08
    I love you, Inga!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You are one of the strongest women that I know!!
    1301 days ago
  • RJFERRARO315
    Amazing insight into your emotional eating journey. I'm so glad you're able to share with us what you have learned and are learning.

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    Hugs,
    Rebecca
    1302 days ago
  • NISSANGIRL
    I am so glad u outgrew the pills Inga, U look wonderful ! Eating right and working out is the best way to lose weight and feel great! I was doing well and now with this weather I slipped back to munching and not working out as I should, Lets Make This month work for us!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1303 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Oh Inga, what a sad part of your life. I am happy that you are now in a good place in your life. You look wonderful and have beautfiul children. Thanks for a great blog and sharing such a tough period in your life.

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    1303 days ago
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