Saturday, March 02, 2013
I've been going on a sentimental journey re-tracing my early bad eating habits, my roots, actually my root of all evil.
After writing my last blog, I find myself a chubby pre-teen, solution, buying diet pills, they would sell them to kids back in 1977, no problem. I did take them without my parents knowledge, and also ate less because of them. I also started to take a nap, probably because I was exhausted from not having the proper fuel in my body. I did get skinny in Jr. High, I remember meeting a cute boy who liked the way I looked. I liked being thin and being able to tuck my shirt in without a flabby stomach. My dad also kidded me and said he didn't want me to weigh over 100 pounds, so I stayed that way for a while. A few years later, I got my driver's license, and a little bit after I graduated from High School, I began dating and when I would drive home from my boyfriends house I would go and buy 3 donuts to eat all alone in the car on my way home.
Looking back I think the relationships were not right and I felt empty, the boys were using me most likely, and I did not like myself, so I ate to fill what was missing. My donut phase didn't last too long, but it was another brick in my wall of a lifelong battle against food, that now I tear down to reach my full potential, to cleanse my-self, to reach wholeness and a new beginning, after years of a lifetime of self-medication, abuse to myself with food. I am slowly recovering, but it is a long process. I appreciate my fellow Spark friends, helping me along the way!
You light my path, as only Spark Angels can do!
More entries to come, it feels amazing to come clean!