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habit blog and jokes

Saturday, March 02, 2013

So the requirement of my current challenge to blog about habits each day Actually I read this differently than most. I think we supposed to pick a habit and work on it for a week. Well this is easy for me because I am working on two right now. One is getting a little more sleep. Now I am not telling how much I get because I would get yell at again But I am trying to switch a little exercise for a little sleep. Number two habit is learning to be more positive . So I am writing down 3 things that I accomplished or was positive in my day . I been doing it on facebook but will also for this week add it to spark.
Insomnia: Inability to sleep until it is time to get up!
“Doctor, doctor, I haven’t slept for days.”
“Why not?”
“Because I sleep at night!”
What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.
One of the great ironies of life is by the time you retire and are able to sleep late, you are to old to be able to sleep late.
Did you hear about the man who slept under an old tractor? He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, “Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.”
“I know” said the man, “but I can`t. My wife refuses to sleep alone.”
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Did you hear about the parents who called their baby “Caffeine?” It kept them awake all night!
Why it is that the one who snores always goes to sleep first?
Insomnia is what you have when you lie awake all night for ten minutes!
“Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Lie on the edge of the bed, then, and you’ll soon drop off.”
Husband: “Honey, I have terrible insomnia.”
Wife: “If you go to sleep, it won’t bother you!”
Insomnia is the triumph of mind over mattress.
Whiskey may not cure your insomnia, but it makes staying awake much more pleasant.
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called thewhole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had pickedup. Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously.
"What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got asense of humor?"
"I don't have to laugh," she said. "It's my last day."
Food Allergies
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets.
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for and she replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs."
The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"
The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
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