Friday, March 01, 2013
I am not doing well at all. All my son's tests came back negative. He is totally denying anorexia/bullimia. But, we are fairly certain that is what it is. He is down to 110 lbs. he checked himself out of the hospital this afternoon. I told his girlfriend he needed to stay there - she gave him a ride home (he is too weak to drive or even walk that far). He is barely speaking to me (answers texts with one word) and will not speak at all to husband. When the Dr asked my son last night if he ever threw up food my son looked the Dr in the eye and said "no". My husband said that was not true and now my son won't speak to him. My husband is completely crushed, but I am so proud of him. It had to be said.
My husband and I called a support line. We can hire a lawyer to prove my son isn't thinking correctly and make him go to a treatment center. My son was talking about going to John Hopkins next. I researched and they have an eating disorder clinic. They can't see my son unless he approves, but if he is down there at least we will have a head start.
Me? I have been crying all day. I had a hard time keeping it in during my mammogram this morning and didn't go to work. I can't handle them questioning me right now. I am going to go in tomorrow when no one is there.
I also am having a real hard time researching eating disorders. Most info is directed at females or losing weight. My Facebook, Spark, apps - everything on losing weight! No wonder many people are underweight and having issues!
I feel like my son is going to die and I can't stop it! I never thought I would have to think about him on life support, talk to him about a will, where to bury him...it is too much!