Friday, March 01, 2013
Got smacked me up-side the head today with a novel idea today: Goals.
Oh, I've had them. Sometimes specific, sometimes attainable. But the real kicker was in re-reading 'The Spark' and realizing that I don't know where I'm going in the long run. Ya I want to lose weight but who do I really want to be?
I'm like the raft drifting downstream with no idea where I really am or where I'm headed. My only goal in life was to be a great mom and wife (I didn't want to be like my own mom). So as an over-achiever, I have poured every ounce of myself into those two things at the cost of really not being myself or getting to know what I really wanted out of life. As a career, my choice was secretary because it was safe and I'm good at it. (But I hate it). I have been so determined to prove to my family that I am a capable and strong woman. I have never made goals that would be risky or outside of my comfort zone. I didn't want to fail and be ridiculed or told "I told you so".
So, as I progress through this Spark Journey, I AM GOING to make specific PERSONAL goals. The first one being: to find out what I really like and what my real interests are! Now, I have to admit, I am so proud of my three sons. They have been fantastic goals to pour into. I know I have poured everything into my marriage to the point of empty, so that goal has been a little unbalanced.
But this month is a goal-setting life-balancing month.
Instead of being that woman all alone and adrift, I am learning from my SparkFriends, my supportive Coffee-Girlfriends, and my Daily Devotions. I'm gaining wisdom, balance and true joy in being who God has made me to be.
And maybe my biggest dream is to look like one of these girls.
I had it once. I can do it again.