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Not all about FOOD

Friday, March 01, 2013


I have not blogged lately. I write in my journal instead and my therapist takes a look at it to help me through this phase.

What phase you might wonder?
I have been struggling with controlling my food. Right now I weigh, count calories and exercise. So far there have been no under eating or over eating but I seem a little too controlling. That is my view. I get anxious when food does not go my way.

Sounds like an eating disorder?
I don't want to label things. But I confess that 10 years ago I had an anorexia episode that lasted about 2 years. Then bulimia, then binging and I ended up obese.

Signs have been coming up so I called a therapist to help me.

I am still working on myself, it has only been two months.
I am nearing my weight loss goal.
I love my energy but I worry about how much I am controlling my food.

It is not all about food?
Actually the controlling is the effect of other things going on in my life.
Loss of my father I have not dealt with, unpaid employment, worries about the future, and worries about weight gain when I stop the loss.

There you have it in a nutshell.
It takes time. I am working on myself. I am praying too. Pray for me please.
I am not myself at the moment. But I try to be OK with the new me.

Love you all
P.S: I missed you Sparkers
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Sending wishes for balance/peace in your life emoticon
    1727 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    You are on a brave journey. We are very reinforced in our society for being rigid about our food at the same time we are bombarded with messages to eat. It can be very hard to accept that we are not bad when we eat and not good when we don't eat. We just FEEL physically better when we don't overeat. But NOTHING can detract from our true essence, and that is all we need.

    I do my own version of prayer and I am doing that for you. Sweetness.
    1727 days ago
    You are certainly growing in so many ways as you continue on this journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    1727 days ago
    You are so right. This is about a healthier lifestyle, not a healthier day/weekend/week. Food is just part of the equation. Glad to hear you are taking the steps to make your emoticon emoticon goals come true. Journaling really helps me...glad to see you're using it.
    1728 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/1/2013 9:03:52 PM
    I am so glad that you have good support and all these insights! I am applauding you for realizing all these things. I am sure you will find your own way. Thinking good thoughts for you.
    1728 days ago
    Remember, we are all a work in progress and none of us is perfect. Here's hoping that you will gain enough understanding in your journeys to be kind to yourself. May life become easier for you as you travel this road. emoticon Also remember, you are not alone...we are always here to give you a big hug when you need it.
    1728 days ago
    Wishing you balance and peace, I am glad that you are working with someone through this.

    1728 days ago
    emoticon m emoticon emoticon
    1728 days ago
    You are right that it's not about the food, but the control or the loss of control feeling. It's good that you are going to a therapist and hopefully you will make good progress with he/she. You are aware of what you need to do and you WILL get back to "being you."

    I will pray for you! You can do this! Hang in there!! emoticon
    1728 days ago
    Wishing you all the best dear sparkfriend. emoticon emoticon
    1728 days ago
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