Friday, March 01, 2013
I have not blogged lately. I write in my journal instead and my therapist takes a look at it to help me through this phase.
What phase you might wonder?
I have been struggling with controlling my food. Right now I weigh, count calories and exercise. So far there have been no under eating or over eating but I seem a little too controlling. That is my view. I get anxious when food does not go my way.
Sounds like an eating disorder?
I don't want to label things. But I confess that 10 years ago I had an anorexia episode that lasted about 2 years. Then bulimia, then binging and I ended up obese.
Signs have been coming up so I called a therapist to help me.
I am still working on myself, it has only been two months.
I am nearing my weight loss goal.
I love my energy but I worry about how much I am controlling my food.
It is not all about food?
Actually the controlling is the effect of other things going on in my life.
Loss of my father I have not dealt with, unpaid employment, worries about the future, and worries about weight gain when I stop the loss.
There you have it in a nutshell.
It takes time. I am working on myself. I am praying too. Pray for me please.
I am not myself at the moment. But I try to be OK with the new me.
Love you all
P.S: I missed you Sparkers