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    JORDAN1019   40,079
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints

Missing her...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

By her, I mean the new me that once was. Where did she go? I started reading old blogs from when I was motivated and living a healthy life in hopes to recapture that lost drive. It has been more than a year since my husband and I separated and although there was a small glimmer of reconciliation for a brief moment that all went out the window quickly. I cannot continue to sit here are blame my backpedaling on external circumstances, I must be stopped. When he had his first affair, I blamed that fact that I was heavy and this motivated me to shape up in order to not look at myself as the reason for my failed marriage. I became aesthetically pleasing to him, but I learned that was not the problem, it was deeper than how I looked (confirmed by second affair) at which point he moved out. I have struggled to deal with this for a year and a half now and have lost that motivated, happy person I worked so hard to find. All I feel right now is despair and uncertainty and I want that girl back. This time I do not want it to be about pleasing someone else; it is more about feeling good and living the best life for me. Enough about relationships affecting my choices, done!...

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WOLFKITTY 3/12/2013 10:22PM

    Hang in there! It can be tough, I know, but we will master all of the changes that life brings. :)

Adapting our routine, finding ways to stay happy and healthy through varying circumstances, is exactly what we need to practice - and this is practice!


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KRISKECK 3/1/2013 10:01PM

    I am with you on that. I hear your pain. I've been there. Keep on trying to find her and don't settle for less. You deserve only the best.



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NWLIFESRC 2/28/2013 1:45PM

    I hear you loud and clear

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CASSCOTT70 2/28/2013 1:40PM

  Good for you!! We think that being selfish is a bad thing, but I think we must be a little selfish and love ourselves first and foremost, once that has been established the rest will follow.

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