Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    JORDAN1019   39,149
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Missing her...


Thursday, February 28, 2013

By her, I mean the new me that once was. Where did she go? I started reading old blogs from when I was motivated and living a healthy life in hopes to recapture that lost drive. It has been more than a year since my husband and I separated and although there was a small glimmer of reconciliation for a brief moment that all went out the window quickly. I cannot continue to sit here are blame my backpedaling on external circumstances, I must be stopped. When he had his first affair, I blamed that fact that I was heavy and this motivated me to shape up in order to not look at myself as the reason for my failed marriage. I became aesthetically pleasing to him, but I learned that was not the problem, it was deeper than how I looked (confirmed by second affair) at which point he moved out. I have struggled to deal with this for a year and a half now and have lost that motivated, happy person I worked so hard to find. All I feel right now is despair and uncertainty and I want that girl back. This time I do not want it to be about pleasing someone else; it is more about feeling good and living the best life for me. Enough about relationships affecting my choices, done!...
SHARE

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WOLFKITTY 3/12/2013 10:22PM

    Hang in there! It can be tough, I know, but we will master all of the changes that life brings. :)

Adapting our routine, finding ways to stay happy and healthy through varying circumstances, is exactly what we need to practice - and this is practice!

Hugs!
Jocelyn

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRISKECK 3/1/2013 10:01PM

    I am with you on that. I hear your pain. I've been there. Keep on trying to find her and don't settle for less. You deserve only the best.

emoticon

Kristin

Report Inappropriate Comment
NWLIFESRC 2/28/2013 1:45PM

    I hear you loud and clear

Report Inappropriate Comment
CASSCOTT70 2/28/2013 1:40PM

  Good for you!! We think that being selfish is a bad thing, but I think we must be a little selfish and love ourselves first and foremost, once that has been established the rest will follow.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.