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Thursday, February 28, 2013

So I know I am depressed. I take the meds, went to the counselor, do the things I need to get through my days. I think I'm coping pretty well. I work, volunteer for 4H, spend time enjoying my kids and the gang that they've acquired. It is hard because this is not the life I had planned and I miss my husband every day. I try not to be "down" all the time and try to show an interest in my friends lives. That said, I have a "friend" who recently lost her boyfriend of 6 years. I have been there for her as much as possible, even going with her to pick up his ashes so she wasn't alone. Since his passing she has come into his retirement money and has been remodeling the house, buying new clothes and is already dating. Because this makes me slighty uncomfortable, and yes, I am a bit jealous that she doesn't have to worry about money when I can't make ends meet, I have distanced myself from her a little. Last weekend she called me and I was feeling ill and was not in the mood to hear about her latest date and shopping expidition so I did not answer. When she asked my daughter about it, my daughter told her I was feeling ill. She responded with "Really? Is she really that down that she's sick all the time? Why doesn't she just get over it?"

Wow, that still hurts... We've been friends for about 7 years and I suddenly feel like I don't even know her. I don't know what to do... I'm angry and upset about her attitude. I hoped maybe bloging might help but I still feel the same... I guess time, maybe. For now I will try to be cordial - we do 4H together so I have interact with her...but I must say it makes it harder to motivate myself to do my 4H when I don't want to see her....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry to hear of your loss and my heart breaks that your "friend" would act so insensitive to your situation. But as a prior post...ppl do tend to outgrow one another and perhaps it is time for you to move on from this friendship. I am learning that if I feel a person in my life doesn't mean me well I distance myself from them. I pray that you find some comfort in your situation. HUGS to you beautiful!
    1722 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/1/2013 1:34:19 PM
  • TAMMY5707
    Our friendships grow, evolve and change over time. There is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who don't fill your life with positive energy. The two of you are at different places in your lives and perhaps you have less in common now.

    Her words hurt, but people who don't have depression do not understand it. You don't have to cut her off entirely, and you can still be friends. She just isn't going to be able to understand and support you through your depression. You'll have to find support elsewhere for that.

    Hang in there. It does get better. One suggestion I have is to talk to your doctor about your meds. I've been on antidepressants for years and about six months ago my doctor added a mood stabilizer. The difference is like night and day. The additional pill I take changed my life. Although you do seem to be coping well so you might not need it like I did. Just something to keep in mind if you continue to struggle.

    1723 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/28/2013 1:42:28 PM
    Look - you need to truly learn to care about yourself as much as you do everyone else. I'm not saying forget - I'm not saying you don't have problems. Do what you can - and do what you need - for you. You deserve it - and unlike other people - you will be grateful - you won't let yourself down. I am a mom - and I know how we often put everyone first - but truly, you deserve this and need it. Besides how can we meet our goals of being there for our kids if we don't take care of ourselves.

    Just getting through life isn't what it is all about - it is about living. It doesn't take money to get out and walk in the sunshine (although now it may not exist where you are - sorry). I'm just trying to make a point that I truly feel for you - and if I could I'd go for a walk with you to just be around all the beauty of nature and to just forget for a minute - about everything. I'd come over for a coffee (if you have some) or perhaps some tea and ask how are YOU doing - because I'd really care.

    We don't have to find comfort in many things - or by being surrounded by many people - we just need to find what it is that makes us content and be pleased with it. Live our life - get out - move - laugh - smile - and realize how truly poor some of the rich people actually are - because happiness doesn't come with a dollar sign - you can find it - if you are only willing to look. Look for it in the rising or setting of the sun - in the song of a bird outside your window - in the laugh of your children - but look for it!

    1723 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/28/2013 12:46:46 PM
    :) Cordial but, 'sorry, gotta run, very busy today, later kiddo.' (Negative vibes are the last thing you need!)


    **Did you hear about the new 'Divorced Barbie'? She comes with all of Ken's stuff.**

    1723 days ago
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