Feeling the flow
Thursday, February 28, 2013
So one of the changes I had hoped to make in the new year was to see if I could apply the process of being successful to keeping my house in better order. It hadn't been going so good, though, and I was wondering where to get motivation and direction. I've tried FlyLady a few times but it didn't seem to help. Why couldn't there be something more like spark coach? Where was the roadmap?
There's a family wedding coming up this June and family will be coming to town and my husband graduates from law school (can you say non traditional student?) and I was thinking of stuff that would have to happen to have people over. All these things would need to happen anyway, I realized. So why let it stress me out?
I originally started my lifestyle change to get back to my comfortable weight, just past the obesity cutoff for my height. But as I got to thinking about it, I began to believe it was possible to achieve a normal BMI. And this same shift finally happened for my homemaking. I just have to believe it is possible. I'm not trying to life an X wing fighter out of a swamp, I'm just becoming a person who finds it worthwhile to keep her house up. I feel like believing really can make it so.
Yesterday I started to feel some results in this area. For church, we do visiting teaching, where we go to people's houses and chat with them, see how they are doing, and have a short lesson from the church magazine. In the past, the week I got visit taught there was drama. I procrastinated and then berated myself for procrastinating, and hoped there would be some kind of last minute cancellation. And the last minute press to get things presentable was fueled by anger at myself. But this time, I knew it usually takes about two hours to tidy the living room, and I didn't worry about it. I didn't yell at the kids or feel angry at myself, I just calmly and collectedly picked up what I needed to and moved what I needed to. And all the time I was amazed at how I was doing exactly the same thing, but my attitude was so different.
So we'll see how this goes. Even my willingness to use the word homemaking is different for me. I used to have this philosophical high horse about how making a home is more than being spotless clean. It was one of my Mom's rants. Well, where did that get me? It's not that I have to adopt that it is, I'm just letting go of the resentment about feeling judged.