slowly coming around
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Hey there Sparklers! I thank you sooooo much for holding me down and covering me in support when I hit my rough patch over these past couple of weeks. Being in the weeds taught me a few things:
1. Comfort food is no longer comfortable for me. When I was on vacay eating my old standbys and when I came back and was out to eat two nights in a row, I felt the sickest I have felt in a long time. And not like sick to my stomach. I felt sluggish, I felt lathargic, slow and moody. I also felt underwhelmed. Those foods I used to love felt like a waste of time and calories. I didn't get much enjoyment out of it and afterwards I was craving healthy stuff.
2. Structure helps AND hurts me. Diet programs and fitness programs will never work for me because I am too impulsive and spontaneous of a personality and get bored easily. On the other hand, the structure of a standard work week and weekend helps me be more successful. What i mean by that is that I travel a lot with work and being away from my routine throws me off. Vacations throw me off. In a regular week, I know which days I will go to Zumba, which days I will do HIIT training, which days I will take it easy and what things I will eat based on what I am doing at work and I stay on track with that. I didn't travel all summber and I lost the bulk of my weight then because of a routine, but that routine was dictated by me, not a program and that is why I was successful.
3. I am a changed woman. When I lost weight a couple of years ago, it slowly crept back on and I was utterly shocked when I had gained it all back, then some. This time around, I sense in THE MOMENT when I am making a decision that can derail me. In those moments I consciously choose whether to eat that desert or skip that workout and I also decide then how I will recoup from that decision. I am no longer letting myself off the hook and even with this slight bump in my motivation, I was never afraid that I wouldn't be successful.
4. Even when it gets tough, KEEP SPARKING. There were some days over the past two weeks where I didn't blog but I went and read someone else's blog and encouraged them. Or maybe I just updated my status. A couple of times I just stopped by to see if anyone had posted on my page or read a blog or commented on a picture. I think I wanted to know that people still cared and were worried about me. And you know what I found: PEOPLE REALLY CARED. So many of you just wanted to know that I was still fighting. Some just told me that they were thinking of me. Some told me that they needed me to keep going so that THEY could keep going. I don't have enough tongues to thank you all. You are beautiful people, inside and out, and you remind me that sometimes your struggles aren't about you. SOmetimes you have to go through tough times to be a testimony to someone else. I am okay with that if it means that I can encourage another Sparkler when they are down. But now I am UP. I am on board. I am consciously deciding to skip Zumba tonight after three days of long workouts (my hips need a break). I have guzzled water and green tea today and ate sensibly. Last night I went waaay over my calories - the culprit: a little candy but mostly the dish of yams I had post-workout. I then made salmon with a honey mustard and garlic glaze, broccoli and wild rice. Nonetheless, I ended my day with a 600 calorie deficit due in part to my 90 minute workout.
Thank you again for the love and support!