Last night, we decided to go out to that same cafe that we frequent that has great tasting and customizable healthy choices. Originally, I didn't want to go because they come out with these rolls that are so awesome along with whipped butter. You'd think you died and went to heaven (such a cliche, but they are really that good).
Anyway, I was nervous that we were going because my usual buffalo chicken salad has a lot of salt, blue cheese crumbles and creamy blue cheese dressing that is brought to the table in a huge creamer type container. Oh man...panic or goodness?
I perused the menu for a solid 10 minutes trying to calculate calories (like I really know what I'm doing) and then it clicked. There were 20 salads as well as veggie and turkey burger options and I SHOULD get one of those. Just because we're eating out, does not mean it is an invitation to purposely abandon the plan - I know myself and this is flirting with disaster.
Buffalo salad, hamburger, tacos...these all went through my mind. Why? I really don't know why. We don't actually eat out a lot - maybe twice or thrice a month. Habit. I was always habitually ordering bad food out as a poor justifying excuse to feed my addiction - bad food.
Well, after I ordered my spinach salad with sweet and sour dressing on the side (eggs, cucumbers, mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes, onions), we were asked if we wanted rolls for the table. As a family we talked about this prior to going to the cafe and we all agreed that no bread is better. "No thanks..." I said.
I could tell that my fit wife was upset. She likes those rolls so much and is not on my path right now - she doesn't have to be and she has 100% control and 'food maturity'. After a few minutes of feeling guilty about 'forcing' my family to abstain from their well deserved bread, I caved in. I called the watiress over and asked for a bowl of rolls. I was OK although nervous about what I'd do when they arrived. They arrived, my wife and son each had a half of a roll with a conservative/appropriate serving of the butter and ate. We were talking so much that I really forgot about the rolls. Soon after, the food came and my salad was surprisingly good with very little dressing and today I even commented to my family that I don't even remember the rolls of how many each of them had. I literally blacked out when the rolls came - I think this is good as I know if I was there a year ago, we'd have 2 full bowls of 1/2 dozen rolls coming to our table. I was elated to say the least. Goodness...
TODAY: I was walking down stairs at an office bulding where my right knee usually has stiffness and discomfort. Well today, it felt a little lubed (that's the only sensation I can really convey) and smooth, like it was oiled. I actually THINK that my weight is not putting a lot of pressure on my knee and coupled with consistent exercise and healthy foods, is giving me relief. Call me crazy, but then again...I really think my physiology and chemistry is changing.
For once in I don't know how many years I finally had control of the choices and ate well out without little cheats and excuses. I am also feeling differently which is driving my desire to stay out of a wheelchair and not have a heart attack at 50.