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    VHALKYRIE   16,233
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Always Someone Better

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Today is mid-term - I seriously had a nightmare about one of my exams last night! But all is well - I have an "A" overall in both classes I'm taking. A girl who sits behind me in Calculus is a high school student who is so advanced, she is taking college credit courses. I think it's incredible that she is so young and has an opportunity that I wish I had when I was her age. We got our exams back today, and I got an 89%, which I am totally thrilled about (because I literally had a nightmare it was terrible!) She seemed hesitant to share her grade, so I was worried she might not have done well, but then she revealed she got a 100%. I cheered and congratulated her. I think she was worried I might be jealous that she got a higher grade. It doesn't matter where I am relative to anyone else - we aren't graded on a curve. I made a couple of silly mistakes, and I would have liked my grade to be higher, but that's because I'm in competition with myself - not her or anyone else.

Truth is, there will always be someone better, smarter and more successful. It is stupid to compare ourselves with anyone else. I think it's even more stupid not to applaud people who do well and not push them forward. It is a very poor reflection of ourselves if we can't recognize talent in others.

My husband and I are doing well at the moment, and we recognize that while we've worked for it, there is always an element of luck in any ups or downs. I'm disappointed that I'm not working, but I am happy to be back in school. I really hated being at home with seemingly no purpose. My husband says my mood has been 100x better since I started classes and have some structure keeping me busy.

It has been disappointing that there are some people in our lives who are less than happy about what we've accomplished. Some either consciously or subconsciously have tried to diminish us. We ran into one of my husband's coworkers at Lowe's when we were shopping for window blinds. He explained to his wife that we just bought a house. She said, "Oh, is it a prebuilt house?" I thought that was a very odd question, but I later learned that they are in the process of having a house custom built. Hmm...ok...was that an attempt at upstaging? Then my husband said this coworker approached him at work and said he'd never buy a house less than 2 years old because you're just buying someone else's problems.

My husband is from England where all the houses are old. Good luck finding a plot of land to build a custom house if your name isn't Lord or Lady something. Where I'm from, generally buying a house less than 10 years old is risking foundation problems because the soil is very unstable. The house we bought at 23 years old has no structural or foundation problems - it's been standing long enough that those problems would have revealed themselves. That's one of the reasons why we bought it.

He's the coworker that belittles my husband for driving a fuel efficient Honda, while he brags about his luxury sedan. The thing is, my husband and I could care less. We don't care about playing keeping up with Jones or Kardashians or whatever. We compare us to ourselves. I'm not jealous of my coworker and his wife, but I now have a very poor opinion of them. We have had dinner with them before on occasion, and I told my husband that I don't really care to meet with them again. He agrees.

Right now we have a fold up table and patio chairs for our 'dining' table because we've been mobile for many years. Our real friends wouldn't care if it was a grand formal or a turned over box in the middle of the floor. Those who judge otherwise reveal themselves as persons of poor character.
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THINRONNA 2/28/2013 1:38PM

    You are so right about all of this! I love this blog! we have no kitchen table right now ...our Apple computer is on the ground and the wooden fold up chairs are sitting around the computer desk until we can figure out a table situation! The house that we owned in the US was built in 1875 and was one of our great loves! ...There was a tree stump in the basement crawl space that appeared to be assisting in holding up the house...character...it is what I call character.

I am so tired of those who judge and of those who feel threatened by others success. Back in Oslo Quin had a hard situation with some girls who were upset with her because she was able so say that she drew well out loud. They told her that she shouldn't say things like that about herself! Why not!?! Really...do we have to diminish what we do well to make others feel better about themselves. Bah! No way!

Great---Great Blog! Thank you!!!!!

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SKIRNIR 2/28/2013 12:15PM

    Keeping up with the Joneses is a silly thing. And I won't buy a new house probably ever. My husband brother did and I couldn't stay there overnight without mega inhaler usage. The new building dust can be awful it seems to be for a few years. Even new stores or newly remodeled stores get me big time.

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JT_GMOTU 2/27/2013 11:09PM

    How nice that you could realize THEIR positions...and ignore the not-so-subtle jabs....I have found my husband and I have managed to phase out the folks who act like this...a lot easier all around!
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CINDYAST 2/27/2013 4:09PM

    Ah, keeping up with the Jones', really not worth the effort. Love your attitude about it. Some of our best times were when we lived in a tiny 12x56 mobile home. We had a huge yard so we always entertained in the yard. Once we had 50 or 60 people in the yard and it started sprinkling rain, we just all crammed into the house and had a great time laughing about how "close" friends we all were. It makes for some good memories and even better friendships!

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MYLADY4 2/27/2013 3:33PM

    I am with you on not keeping up with the Jones. Are they any happier with all of their "stuff" then you, I don't think so.

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KA_JUN 2/27/2013 1:55PM

    Don't let others bother you, you know what's important to achieving your own goals and that's what matters. Saying what they did was poor form. Perhaps they have more money, but money can't buy class. emoticon emoticon

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