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    JLITT62   52,035
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Is it easier to be heavy if you're attractive?

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I got to thinking about the pretty, heavy people out there. Like the plus size models. There are people who look good even when they're very heavy. And there are people who don't. People who really just don't look great even with just a few extra pounds on them.

I fall into the latter category & so you may be thinking this is just sour grapes.

And I am NOT saying it's okay to be heavy. It isn't & even when you eat right and exercise, too much weight will still be putting extra strain on your joints & your organs. You may indeed be very healthy, but don't kid yourself you wouldn't be healthier thinner.

But if you're attractive even at your heaviest, it probably makes it just a bit easier to stay heavier. Because let's face it - we all know weight loss is hard work.

Maybe people don't ignore you the way they do unattractive heavy people. Or maybe they still do; I wouldn't know. Maybe people aren't as judgmental of you as they are of unattractive heavy people.

Of course beauty is only skin deep. No matter what the package looks like, we are all special & we're all beautiful -- but isn't it harder to feel beautiful if you don't fall into the conventional definition of beauty?

I really don't have a point here, I just got to thinking about this yesterday & felt it would make a good blog post. I'm sure it will stir the pot & no doubt anger some people. That's not really my aim. I'm just curious what others think.
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RABBLERRABBIT 2/27/2013 11:10PM

    Good question. After my first baby, I remember the first time someone said to me, "at least you still have a pretty face." I remember being mortified, but not motivated. Now that I'm older and want to lose weight for my health instead of my looks, I'm motivated.

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PCOH051610 2/27/2013 3:41PM

    As a "not so beautiful" obese woman I think that anything that makes you feel confident in who you are is a bonus. I've been in my fair share of plus-sized clothing stores and I have noticed that women who are truly physically attractive don't seem to outwardly care of their size. They dress the body they have and seem happy. Notice I said "seem" happy because I guess it is only an assumption.

When I clothes shop I always blame my body (terrible isn't it?) when clothes don't fit or make me look the way I think "somebody trying to lose weight" should look. Funny, isn't it? Now, even if I lost 100 pounds only the blind would think I'm pretty so I guess my attempts to lose weight have more to do with my own insecurities about being fat AND ugly!

Great "food" for thought here

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GAILRUU 2/27/2013 2:19PM

    Thought provoking! It depends on how heavy and how you feel about yourself. People often judge others by the outer package and not what is underneath.

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LULUBELLE65 2/27/2013 12:54PM

    I don't think it makes it easier, and I say that as someone who is objectively a pretty woman. (wow, that feels really vain and somehow wrong to say, because I think as women, particularly women who don't fit society's ideals, we are supposed to be humble and self-deprecating.)

That is, are we talking about pretty as opposed to plain, or pretty as opposed to unattractive? There is a huge difference between being average and being actually unattractive, and I think that unattractive people, thin or thick, are discriminated against a lot. However, so much of what society finds attractive has to do with bodies, not faces, and thin bodies, or curvy but fit bodies are what is considered attractive, not fat bodies.

I have heard the phrase "such a pretty face" all my life. Along with "you'd be really hot if you lost weight" and "I'd totally f*** you if you were thinner". So, is it better to be invisible, or is it better to be noticed, but always told that you're flawed? I honestly don't know.

Comment edited on: 2/27/2013 12:57:50 PM

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SMILINGTREE 2/27/2013 11:51AM

    In my experience, most people are not particularly good judges of themselves. Lots of beautiful people, heavy or thin, seem to have no idea that they are beautiful. How many thin people have you heard complain of being fat? I did that as a younger person - I weighed 125, which is about right for me, and wanted to weigh 115. And we probably all know people who are especially attractive who have excessive confidence regarding their looks.

Being fit and healthy is hard work - no matter your shape or size. As a person who really struggles to lose weight, even with calorie counting, careful nutrition, and lots of exercise, I can say that it's not really any easier for an unattractive (or at least not beautiful) person to lose. No matter how motivated I am by the image in the mirror, it's still a hard enough thing that I haven't quite managed it yet.

Maybe I'm saying that it probably doesn't make much difference...Good post - lots to think about!

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SLIMMERJESSE 2/27/2013 11:51AM

    Well, I was told I was pretty when I was overweight, but I was still mostly invisible - a first-time phenom since I'd never had extra
pounds before. Life was very different as
a heavier gal, in so many ways.

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CHRISTINA791 2/27/2013 11:49AM

    I really think it depends on the person and their circumstances.

A lot of what we perceive as beauty comes from confidence and how a person carries themselves. If a person is heavier but comfortable in their own skin they'll start with a bit of an edge over someone who's uncomfortable even at a healthy weight. If someone's not confident, they could be traditionally attractive but unless they're god/goddess-like, it won't come across as well. I know that when I was overweight (and when I was average weight, for that matter), I thought I was hideous. Not necessarily because of the weight itself, but because of a very poor self image. Because of that, I put no effort into my own looks and did my best to be invisible. When I gained weight, it made it worse until I had basically written myself off completely.

My instinct is that it's easier to feel confident in your looks when you're fit and healthy (as opposed to losing weight by depriving your own body with stupid diets), but I think it's far from being a set rule. I could see being traditionally attractive and overweight going a couple different ways: If the person is comfortable in their skin, it might not make a difference to them. But if a lot of their self image is tied to weight, even 20 extra pounds could be devastating to how they see themselves. That person might objectively look better carrying the extra weight than someone who's not so gifted in the looks department, but if they personally feel horrible about it, that's what's going to come through.

Comment edited on: 2/27/2013 11:50:36 AM

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KANSASROSE67 2/27/2013 11:37AM

    I don't know, but it seems to make sense. I can only speak from my personal experience, which is that I'm not particularly beautiful of feature, so being slim and well-toned is one way I could feel more attractive. If I had a really pretty face, I might be more likely not to care as much about some excess weight. I'm talking here about weight loss for vanity reasons, rather than health. And to be honest, vanity had more influence on me than health, especially when I was younger.

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NATPLUMMER 2/27/2013 11:31AM

    Maybe.

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JLITT62 2/27/2013 11:25AM

    Well beautiful people can have it just as hard - people think they're stuck up snobs, or they're even more insecure, never seeing their own beauty.

That wasn't really my point . . . my point is that if you look good even heavy, does that make it easier to stay heavy?

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DLBROWN93 2/27/2013 11:16AM

    Beautiful people have it easier, heavy or thin.

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