Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I just realized I have 65 days until we will be in Florida. Until I have to wear a swim suit. On a beach. With gorgeous & healthy people all around me.
And I am not a single pound closer to my goal.
Of course, I realize that my final goal is still out of my reach. It will take much longer than 65 days to happen, and I am completely okay with that.
What I am not okay with is how I look in my bikini at this moment. I cannot fit into my shorts from last summer. This is a problem. And I know myself well enough to know, if I end up in Florida at this weight, I will be SO SO UNBELIEVABLY upset with myself.
Knowing all this is approaching, why cannot I not STOP EATING? I swear, its all I do. It's 3 a.m. and I just ate a quesadilla. Not because I was hungry. It just sounded good. THIS is my problem, even more so then lack of exercise (I am at least semi-consistently getting that in at this time).
I am seriously about to lock my fridge & cabinets after dinner. It's bad enough that I am having sleeping issues again, after going several weeks on a relatively good schedule, but this is when my "boredom" eating kicks in.
I am seriously about to go into panic mode with all this. I know many of you are thinking "Don't beat yourself up" "You have time" "Its all about making changes". I know all of this. But, my mind isn't grasping it!!! The cycle of disappointment is exhausting.
Do any of you have any suggestions as to what I can do to stop this vicious cycle? I am willing to try anything, short of wiring my jaw shut lol.
Thanks for listening to my nocturnal rantings. I definitely love the support I get on here....!