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    SNOWANGELDIVA   20,098
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You Grow Girl.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

“I’m tough, Captain. I am. I really am.” I insist to my boss (she’s ‘Captain’ since telling me she’s not old enough to be a “Ma’am”), I say it as tears of pain are streaming down my cheeks. Her usual sexy, raspy voice turned almost melodic when she comforted me with, “I know, but, it’s okay to not be tough all the time. Take some time to heal and call me. I can make sure you get your hours and some time to recuperate.”

Then I was driven home to sleep, cry and growl my way through a migraine.

I have my doubts about being allowed to not be tough all the time. I have my doubts with her knowing how not to be tough all the time. I think she’s really a super hero (she broke into my car to retrieve the only set of keys I had for my van – in my van) and this boss gig is a cover.

Also, I HATE being vulnerable. Crying = vulnerable.
That is not ‘okay’. Also, crying at work is a humiliation of epic proportions. I hate crying.

I started today in a cranky mood. My smile was stuffed up where the sun don’t shine and I was here physically but that’s it. My mind was out for a wander and I couldn’t find it. My british buddy (I gotta come up with a nickname for her) she called me on it and together we figured I was a little ‘off’ and then we determined it must be a miscalculated time of the month. We promptly cursed teenage girls that pull our cycle and she slipped me a Midol with instructions to NOT maim Miss. Mean. (A good friend knows when you’re hiding your sunshine a better friend works preventatively).

I’ve been internally begging for that little Chihuahua co-worker of mine to even toe the line with her snarky, mean spirit. I was all prepared to ground pound her superiority complex with a biznotch slap that Miss. Piggy would envy. I was okay with being arrested over it. She’s been spreading rumours, and insults like icing on a cake...she’s convinced she’s doing the world a favour by criticizing my every breath. She’s only successful at sucking the joy out of my day. A jovial, lighthearted room is turned to stone misery when she enters and it’s miserable to be around her.

I was prepared to hurt her today. The thought was the only thing (next to being enveloped in my hubby’s arms) that brought a big smile to my face.

“Revenge is mine saith the Lord.” He meant it. He sent me a migraine to keep my attitude in check. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever thanked Him for pain. I didn’t want to be the person that was brought down to that ugly level and He didn’t let me fall.

“Liz, she’s jealous. You walk into a room and people feel your love for them. They know you genuinely care. You’re refreshing, sweet and cute. You’re something that she chooses to not let me help her be. You share joy, she gives pain. I created you to be a happy Tulip in this Garden called Life. She chooses to be a thorn instead of the beautiful person I designed. Please let me protect you from her sting instead of choosing to be a destructive weed yourself.”

Migraines and Spring Fever make for wonderful analogies.

Life is a garden and you its flower ~ you grow girl!

Which flower are you?

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WILDASTER 4/9/2013 7:07PM

    Snow, I feel mad and ugly at the moment too. I went to Sparks to see what I could find to cheer me and help me make better choices with my day. I'm so glad I know you. This helped me a lot. It isn't a coworker in my case but my own family, my kids and my husband, you know the ones who are suppose to love you and help you.... I can't really pound them into the ground, and I don't want to do that.

You are very blessed, I thank God for you. You are a blessing in my life today.

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    Hope you feel better soon but I loved your descriptions of the miserable day.

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    What beautifully expressed wisdom! So beautiful!!! Gave me chills, good chills, to read. You are a walking, talking, writing, testimony to your values and your belief in God ... and to the world a picture of who you really are. Not always a saint in your thoughts, perhaps, and maybe not always a saint in your deeds, but always evaluating both and trying to find meaning and purpose in the final direction you choose to go each day.
I admire you very much...

AND .......This should be published!

emoticon for sharing your gift!

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BETHSWORLD 2/27/2013 8:42PM

    UGH to the mean little snitch at work... emoticon I don't like people like that at ALL!!!

I hope you are getting better Sweets!

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LZY0108 2/27/2013 1:41PM

    Sorry about your day. I loved reading this blog though. Very well written and entertaining to say the least... Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon

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_JODI404 2/27/2013 10:19AM

    I love your analogies Liz!

Sorry the migraine caused you suffering. I agree, I do not like to cry at work. It's part of being human though -- it's bound to happen over time + stress.

I think there's at least one mean person wherever you go... maybe more. I found this analogy the other day, and it really resonated with me:

I loved the flower quiz: I am a sunflower. I *heart* flowers!!

You keep on growing!! Take care & hope you are feeling much better today!

emoticon emoticon

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 2/27/2013 10:03AM

    Hope you feel tons better today. emoticon

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    Sorry you had a cr@ppy day. Hope you are feeling better!

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LEEKA5 2/26/2013 9:57PM

    Ah, crying at work... I know crying at work. I know curled in a ball in the work bathroom between moaning in intense pain and throwing up because of the monthly 'friend'. I know being sent home or driven home because I couldn't drive myself.

I like to be tough too...but monthly brings me down to human again. I hate being human at work.

I hope you're feeling much, much, much better soon. Pain humbles us, reminds us we are but carbon molecules with pain sensors galore. Pain reminds us that we too are frail and helps us to recognize the frailty in others.

I knew mean people... they're not worth the emotional time we spend on them. Some are so mean they'll drive you from their very death bed when all you want to do is love them. Mean isn't worth the energy it takes to respond back.

Rather, grow some tulips in a clear jar and wonder at the magnificence. Tulips are simple. Tulips are delicate. Tulip blooms are short lived - but while they live, they are glorious - and they work on dividing then and making more tulips so they can bloom again. Here is a tulip garden for you.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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I*AM*BLESSED 2/26/2013 9:32PM

    "Arguing with a fool only proves that there are Two".

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 2/26/2013 9:16PM

    I'm the sunflower. Sorry you have the downer person who causes you pain, in addition to the migraine. Migraines are bears. Take time to recover and regroup. You're such a wonderful person and some people are mean - probably jealous of your nature. Hang in there. emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 2/26/2013 8:59PM

    I got Tulip, which happens to be my favorite flower, so yay.
Sigh. Sorry you have to work with a Debbie Downer. Some people are just determined to be toxic. Wonder what her story is. Probably not a happy one.
Sorry you had a migraine, but I hope you take the time to regroup and recover. And know what? I love that you have such a great, in-person buddy. A BFF can go a long way when dealing the everyday crazy of life.
Hang in there, sweetheart.

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LIVINHEALTHY9 2/26/2013 8:23PM

    It's so hard not to let those kinds of people get under your skin, believe me I struggle with it from time to time, but you are better than that. Plus, if we stoop to their level, they win.

And we won't let them win! Hang tough!

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