Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sometimes life is hard. Things get rough, unexpected things surprise us, and we have to make adjustments. I had to make an unexpected adjustment this month by deciding to leave my abusive husband, packing my daughter, my pup, and as much important stuff as I could into my car and moving us all into my older daughter's home temporarily. I am blessed to have a daughter who is willing and able to take us in, and I'm thankful for that. I thought I'd learned all about abusive men and how to avoid them when I left my ex, went through serious depression and anxiety, counseling, the whole bit, including hospitalization for suicidal attempts.......I guess I didn't know enough, because I found myself right back in a very similar situation, but I didn't stick around to waste 15 years this time, at least. It only took me 7 years to grow a pair and walk out. It was not an easy decision, but it's getting easier every day and I"m surrounded by the love and support of my kids, as they all live right near here, so I am seeing them almost daily. The biggest thing, actually hearing my daughter say "I'm so proud of you." These are words I've wanted to hear from my kids all my life, words it took my mother till her dying days to say to me, and you know what? I'm proud of me too. It won't be easy starting over at 51, with a 12 year old while trying to finish a double bachelor degree program, and going back to work for the first time in many, many years, but I know we will be ok. There will be tough, tear filled, emotional days, and we'll have to give up lots of stuff as we adjust to one little income and start over, but my young daughter will see that it's not ok to let someone treat you like s*&t, and that it's ok to move on and start over, and mainly, that we'll be ok, together, and happy, just the two of us and our little puppy girl. From now on out, it'll be just us girls and I'm ok with that.