Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I really wanted to blog this am but I still canít really think of what to say. Iím very grateful for all the support over the last two days. Iíve really needed it.
Emotionally Iím really numb. There is just so much stress; taxes, money, home repairs I can't do but need, etc, this stuff with the boy child is just ďthe straw that broke the camelís backĒ. I also found out yesterday a dog I've been working SO hard with bit someone to the point of stitches. He was put down this am.But I also donít like whining Ė doesnít help anything.
I did catch myself googling Margaret Thatcher this afternoon. Why? I think because she was one of my heroís as a teen. I thought Regan and Gorby were tough and here was this woman who could go toe to toe with both of them. Some people loved her, some hated her, but she was always confident and composed. I wanted that confidence and composure.
Guess thatís how I got to be a fan of Katharine Hepburn. I used to watch her movies with my mom and gram. Then I learned more about her and how she actually stood up to Hollywood and fought her way back from being blackballed. She always refused to be anyone but who she was. Amazing strength and conviction!
I have a hard time with heroes as an adult. It has become too easy to see the flaws of character. But the heroes of my teens Ė I can remember them and how they made me feel. I can remember WHY I wanted to be like them. What those women stood for, at least in my mind.
So, they are going to be my strength again. Iím going to start trying to remember the heroes and goals I had as a teen and young adult. The time when I stood tall and could bent without breaking. I still have that and it will get me through boy child problems, and tax trouble, and money trouble, and house trouble, and all the rest of the crap that is trying to bury me under. If I stand tall and be true to me, Iíll find my way to the other side.