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    COLEYMERRY   6,311
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Shy...

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Feeling lonely today-wanting to reach out to someone and not sure who. I read someone's blog today that talked about wanting to be thin so they could have friends. While I don't expect being thin to bring me more friends, I do think I have used weight as a way to hide. When I was younger I was very underweight and that was a way to hide too. I'm shy. Maybe as I lose weight I will grow in confidence enough to introduce myself to people and say hello. emoticon Maybe not. I just want to stop hiding. I want to be brave enough to let people know me. My worth cannot be in the size of my jeans or the number on the scale-it has to be in who I am and my relationship to my creator. Why is this so hard? I want to be beautiful-why does this even matter again?
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COLEYMERRY 2/27/2013 11:55AM

    Skirnir: I will be praying for friends for the both of us. :)

1Feistymama: Thank you for all of your encouragement. I do have issues with self worth/love/esteem. I will probably write more about this in the future because I want to overcome unnecessary hangups I have. I think setting goals and achieving them will help. I have a Kindle and I may need to check that book out. :)

Sisterpretty: Thank you! You are right that I don't need to lean on other people's approval of my appearance-but why does the disapproval have so much power to tear me apart. Ugh. I will blog on my issues with "self-love" in the future, but I do think it is more difficult than self-hatred, which I wouldn't be as interested in writing a blog about :) I will probably have to talk about both to find where I need to be at. Thank you for your encouragement to be vulnerable in posts as well. I don't think anyone I know reads these-so I should be safe.

TCmakeup-I did try to be brave like that once. I had a friend challenge me to introduce myself to 5 people at a festival I went to. I enjoyed meeting the people and I felt a bit more confident. I was still glad it was over at the end. I was raised by someone with severe social phobia and some of that rubbed off on me. I'm a little thankful that I'm able to go to events at all :) I'm glad you found a friend like the one you did. Shy friends are best at keeping secrets!



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SKIRNIR 2/26/2013 3:11PM

  I don't know why it is so hard, but it is. I am a shy person too, who doesn't make friends easily. Hope you can make a few friends soon and I hope the same for me.

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1FEISTYMAMA 2/26/2013 2:55PM

    You are beautiful!! I look at your current photos and know so many women who would love to look like you but I understand where you're coming from. Those same women would like to look like me yet I see all of my flaws. I'm not shy, but I struggle with self-image and with self-worth, especially at work.

Please, please read The Spark. It is helping me so much and it may help you as well. Chris (founder of SP and author of The Spark) was also very shy. He started exercising to boost his self-esteem and his confidence to speak in front of people. For him, Spark wasn't about losing weight ---- he wasn't overweight ---- for him, it was about setting small, attainable goals and reaching them, then setting larger goals and reaching those as well. Through the journey, he built his self-esteem and self-confidence.

I bought the Kindle version for $5 and you can get free Kindle apps on any Android or Apple device. Check your local library, maybe they'll have it for free. The book (like this site) is about so much MORE than weightloss, it's about discovering your self-worth. Others know you are worthy but you need to feel it yourself and this post sounds like you're not feeling it. Only you can give yourself that and you SO DESERVE TO FEEL THAT!!!! We all deserve to feel that.

((((HUGS))))

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SISTERPRETTY 2/26/2013 2:25PM

  First of all, you need to go take a look in the mirror and see that you are a beautiful girl. You don't need others to tell you that you're beautiful to make you think that you're beautiful. When you wake up in the morning in fact, whenever you look in the mirror you need to start saying good morning beautiful or hello beautiful...I love you...and that will boost your confidence and then you'll be able to speak confidently to anyone. It all starts with loving yourself. You will break out of your shyness...everyone is shy in there own way. You did a bold thing today by writing this blog...great job!

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TCMAKEUP 2/26/2013 2:14PM

  I see your picture and see a beautiful young lady. I have a friend that is very shy too.

She started getting over hers by trying to say hello to someone every day. It didn't matter if it was the same person or someone new each day. It helped her come out of her shell just a little bit and then she met me and I don't have a shy bone in my body.

We have been best friends for 22 years now and I wouldn't change her for the world.



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