Asking myself alot of deep questions and looking inside for the terrible truth I have somehow let myself believe and think I am. When did I stop loving myself ? When did I start treating myself so terrible. I, somewhere along the path of life must of chosen to base my self worth on the "outside" things instead of concentrating on my inside things. It is time to work on me till I get this right. I have so many things I want to do and sitting on the couch all the time is not one of them.

When I eat healthy, whole foods and drink plenty of water, my energy starts re-emerging, my body starts getting up off this couch and doing things, my mouth runs a mile a minute, I feel happy, I feel life, I engage more with people and family. Then boom, I see that pizza or Mcdonalds of some dam stuff that is not good for me, loads of fat, sugar, and carbs, put it in my mouth and I just melt back into my stationary position, flat line like a coma, yes , a food induced coma. And again I start asking myself "Why do I keep doing this to myself" I feel food like that is a drug to my body. I need to stop it in it's tracks when I feel I got to be bad to myself and use food to abuse. Like those rules I was telling you about in the video, especially #4, I have repeated and repeated this bad behavior and one day I am going to beat it. As long as I have my sparkfriends I will do it, all of you are my army backing me to the finish line. Thanks for all your sweet words.