Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Life has been a bit crazy for the last couple of months. In December Craig was forced on the midnight shift with 5 years until retirement and second in seniority. They only have 6 troopers at this post, so basically they have one trooper to cover each shift. We have been together for almost 11 years and it is crazy to think that now that we have kids at their busiest stage yet I have to do everything on my own. Craig works 12 hour shifts. He works 6a-6p 5days on, 5 days off, 2 days on 2 days off. So basically he is forced to stay awake 5 nights in a row and then when he is off he is tired all day and wants to stay awake at night. I've never had to sleep by myself so much and when we do sleep in the same bed it is somewhat difficult to sleep. This schedule would be fine if we were both lazy but we have so much going on and have been planning on building this year. He isn't very helpful and it is draining me. He used to help bring in firewood, help with showers etc when I was cleaning up after dinner, read to Hannah, just a little bit of everything. Now I have to do everything, and though it has been very tough on our relationship I am learning a lot about myself. I have been gradually trying to get myself to a healthier state. I was just recently in a size 11/12 jeans and sometimes I would wear my jeans a couple days. Not in a row but if I wore them for only a couple of hours I would put them back on my shelf to be wore again. The problem with that was that jeans are never as comfortable as the first time you put them on out of the dryer. I thought that when I put these on the other day that they needed to be washed because they seemed looser. The fact is that they were just washed and my pants are just getting baggy on me. I am so excited to go out of town this weekend knowing that I can probably get into the next size down pants. This is big for me. So what I have learned is that although things have seemed to be a struggle and challenge me while my husband is working lots. I have been able to find myself, to be independant, and to see progress. Through the bad, we see the good. I am so excited to move forward and continue to make this the year that I shine.