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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Motherhood is the hardest job I have ever done!

My son had his first counseling session yesterday. We are possibly evaluating him for ADHD.

I love him so much, but it feels like no one else knows our struggles. Or our frustration.

It seems everyone is judging us, and it makes me feel like a bad parent. I know my son does not purposely try to misbehave at school.

I don't want his life to continually be full of sadness and frustration.

Feeling so alone, lost, and with no support.

I am not sure how much long the school is willing to deal with him.

It's heartbreaking.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEEBEE 2/27/2013 3:13PM

    Being a mother is a hard job. Nobody can argue that. And it can be heartbreaking. My son, a grown man now, was diagnosed with schizophrenia many years ago. He hears imaginary voices and he is afraid of things like windows and lawn mowers. He is also extremely uncomfortable and fearful around other people. He lives in assisted living. I wish it were otherwise, of course.

I had that crummy treatment, too, when he was young...the judgment and the criticism: if only I had done this or that, if only I were this way or that way, if only I had prayed more (that's a good one!). DO NOT ACCEPT THAT NONSENSE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!!!

I have a group of friends now. We all have people with mental illness in our families. And we are a group of very nice women who have all struggled with misunderstanding and ignorance from others who jump to conclusions. Join a support group for people with children who have ADHD. If you call NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), they will refer you to a group suitable to your needs. You are not alone...not at all!

I hope this helps. Just remember...you are a very good mom because you care so much about your son.

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3G1RLS4ME 2/26/2013 3:41PM

    I'm in that position too totally understand

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CHICVINTAGE 2/26/2013 1:31PM

    You are so not alone! I have two kiddos with the disorder and I suspect my husband has it too. In 50% of children's diagnosis, a parent has also been or will be diagnosed with the disorder. So many things wrong in our relationship now make sense based on the behaviors I see in the kids. It is a heartbreaking place to be as a parent because it's so easy to see all the limitations in their future and in their present since they can't fit in with their peers and struggle so much with school. I homeschool my kids so I have the added pressure of knowing that how they turn out will be perceived as totally my success or failure. It's taken years to be ok with that but I preferred to have my children home with me where they would not be the brunt of the kid social machine in schools. They are very happy children and that's my top priority since stress is the biggest block to learning for kids. I know it's hard to see now as you are facing diagnosis, but differently abled kids are just that, different. My kids have abilities that just blow the average kids' efforts out of the water. My son was assembling 50 piece puzzles when he was two. My daughter draws at least 20 highly detail story cartoons a day and has been since she was 5. With ADHD comes the ability to Hyper Focus. It's actually an amazing gift that the average person will never experience. I suggest you start reading some library books on the subject and brace yourself for whatever may come. It's totally ok to feel sad, cry, and grieve, but I think you will find that when you start treating the disorder, things make more sense and you will actually see the ways in which the disorder is helping your child. ((hugs))

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