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Oh My Glob, You Guys. Gym Drama Bomb!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Last night I got to the gym and it was crazy packed. It was packed to the point where I had to alter my gym plan consistently because I couldn't get to the equipment I needed. But do you know what happens when the gym is packed? If you guessed Gym Stories you are right.

I set myself up in a squat rack to do narrow stance squats and barbell step ups and all sorts of thigh-shaking awesomeness and noticed a young chap set up in a rack behind me. I went over to steal a plate from his rack (I asked nicely though because people coming up and taking plates and not saying anything to you is RUDE) and he was quite gracious about it since he wasn't using them anyway. He was doing pullups.

While he began his pullups, I noticed a girl come over and set up at the leg press. Someone had left more plates on it than she wanted so she started unloading them. She was cute. Fit. Wearing short shorts. She wasn't unloading plates long before a rather large and muscular gent came over and smilingly asked her if she wanted help unloading the plates. She giggled a little and said yes. It was flirty.

My first reaction was to chuckle a little. Ah gym flirtation. You crack me up.

My second reaction was to be all, HEY, how come no big muscular guy has ever asked ME if I needed help?

My immediate third reaction was to go, whoa Jolene. Dial down the crazy real quick.

So I kept going with my stepups and I see the polite chap who was doing pullups come over to leg press girl looking annoyed. Oh man. Is this gym drama I see?? Did muscular gent help out pullup chap's girlfriend??? It certainly appeared to be so! And he was not pleased.

Leg Press Girl continued on with her leg presses. Or sort of. She mostly was on her phone with her feet sort of on the plate.

Let me just digress for a second here. It takes a lot of work for me to not be a jerk at the gym and judge people and that is especially true for pretty girls who are fit. I would never call a girl something disparaging in my blog just because of my own inner jerk. So anything that follows from here on out, any minor jibes, are not because she was pretty and I was jealous. She was just driving me sort of bananas. And so was Pullups Chap. And so was Third Girl who entered the scene.

While Leg Press Girl was doing her texting/leg presses, another girl appeared next to Pullups Chap. Wait. Now I'm confused. Was Pullups Chap jealous of MuscularGent who helped out LegPressGirl because they're together? Or is he with Third Girl? Because while LegPressGirl was on the leg press, PullupsChap began instructing ThirdGirl on how to do pullups. But this did not help my trying to focus on my workout and not chuckle routine because it was insanely obvious that what he was really doing was showing her HIS ability to do pullups.

PullupsChap, what is going on here? Are you jealously guarding LegPressGirl? Or are you showing off for ThirdGirl? Do you have a harem?

For the rest of my workout, PullupsChap, LegPressGirl, and ThirdGirl just sort of floated around not really working out. LegPressGirl and ThirdGirl at one point went to the mats to do planks/look at their phones and PullupsChap came over and corrected their form/used any excuse to lay down near them. Come on, man. Step up your game.

But also, to all three of them, I know the gym is a place to socialize. Maybe even meet your future life partner (or two). But if the gym is stuffed to the gills and you are not doing anything that resembles actual exercise, just taking up space to flirt whilst wearing short shorts/sports bras/chest thongs/yoga pants, could you maybe change the time you come to a time slightly less busy?? I would never ever deny anyone their right to the gym, even when they're really hot and I'm jealous of their hotness. But geez oh man, bring the drama another time please!

Although, to be fair, what would I write about on here without these things??

So to Muscular Gent, Pullups Chap, LegPressGirl, and Third Girl, may you all find happiness together or apart or whatever. Just clear away from my rack, please.
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