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Oh My Glob, You Guys. Gym Drama Bomb!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Last night I got to the gym and it was crazy packed. It was packed to the point where I had to alter my gym plan consistently because I couldn't get to the equipment I needed. But do you know what happens when the gym is packed? If you guessed Gym Stories you are right.

I set myself up in a squat rack to do narrow stance squats and barbell step ups and all sorts of thigh-shaking awesomeness and noticed a young chap set up in a rack behind me. I went over to steal a plate from his rack (I asked nicely though because people coming up and taking plates and not saying anything to you is RUDE) and he was quite gracious about it since he wasn't using them anyway. He was doing pullups.

While he began his pullups, I noticed a girl come over and set up at the leg press. Someone had left more plates on it than she wanted so she started unloading them. She was cute. Fit. Wearing short shorts. She wasn't unloading plates long before a rather large and muscular gent came over and smilingly asked her if she wanted help unloading the plates. She giggled a little and said yes. It was flirty.

My first reaction was to chuckle a little. Ah gym flirtation. You crack me up.

My second reaction was to be all, HEY, how come no big muscular guy has ever asked ME if I needed help?

My immediate third reaction was to go, whoa Jolene. Dial down the crazy real quick.

So I kept going with my stepups and I see the polite chap who was doing pullups come over to leg press girl looking annoyed. Oh man. Is this gym drama I see?? Did muscular gent help out pullup chap's girlfriend??? It certainly appeared to be so! And he was not pleased.

Leg Press Girl continued on with her leg presses. Or sort of. She mostly was on her phone with her feet sort of on the plate.

Let me just digress for a second here. It takes a lot of work for me to not be a jerk at the gym and judge people and that is especially true for pretty girls who are fit. I would never call a girl something disparaging in my blog just because of my own inner jerk. So anything that follows from here on out, any minor jibes, are not because she was pretty and I was jealous. She was just driving me sort of bananas. And so was Pullups Chap. And so was Third Girl who entered the scene.

While Leg Press Girl was doing her texting/leg presses, another girl appeared next to Pullups Chap. Wait. Now I'm confused. Was Pullups Chap jealous of MuscularGent who helped out LegPressGirl because they're together? Or is he with Third Girl? Because while LegPressGirl was on the leg press, PullupsChap began instructing ThirdGirl on how to do pullups. But this did not help my trying to focus on my workout and not chuckle routine because it was insanely obvious that what he was really doing was showing her HIS ability to do pullups.

PullupsChap, what is going on here? Are you jealously guarding LegPressGirl? Or are you showing off for ThirdGirl? Do you have a harem?

For the rest of my workout, PullupsChap, LegPressGirl, and ThirdGirl just sort of floated around not really working out. LegPressGirl and ThirdGirl at one point went to the mats to do planks/look at their phones and PullupsChap came over and corrected their form/used any excuse to lay down near them. Come on, man. Step up your game.

But also, to all three of them, I know the gym is a place to socialize. Maybe even meet your future life partner (or two). But if the gym is stuffed to the gills and you are not doing anything that resembles actual exercise, just taking up space to flirt whilst wearing short shorts/sports bras/chest thongs/yoga pants, could you maybe change the time you come to a time slightly less busy?? I would never ever deny anyone their right to the gym, even when they're really hot and I'm jealous of their hotness. But geez oh man, bring the drama another time please!

Although, to be fair, what would I write about on here without these things??

So to Muscular Gent, Pullups Chap, LegPressGirl, and Third Girl, may you all find happiness together or apart or whatever. Just clear away from my rack, please.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
PANDASUE2 3/20/2013 7:19PM

    Haha! This is hilarious! I do the SAME thing at my gym... I can't stand it when people are on their phones or sitting their flirting. I'm there, lookin' nasty and sweaty to work out, not to see you already gorgeous people strut your stuff. Ugh!

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NYMERIAV 3/20/2013 4:37PM

    You seriously cracked me up! I can't wait until the next Gym Story...


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    oh man...people continuously texting while working out annoys the crap out of me! I can relate...

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BAKER1009 3/20/2013 2:34PM


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KIM_POSSIBLE77 3/20/2013 10:13AM

    OMG....this is so funny. I swear it makes me want to rush over to my gym so I can people watch! I hate waiting for machines at the gym and hate it even more when I'm waiting on someone that is not doing anything so I totally understand. LOL

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INGMARIE 2/27/2013 7:58AM

    emoticon Funny.Thanks for sharing.
PS I go to gym at 5;30 AM with DH we almost never se any drama.
emoticon emoticon

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ANDREWMOM 2/26/2013 2:44PM

    Oh, Yeah!!! I have that story in my vault whenever I need a laugh!!! Thank you!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 2/26/2013 12:46PM


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OCEANROSE1 2/26/2013 12:22PM

    That is hilarious. Who need reality TV when the gym is live drama.

P.S- my inner jerk would be great friends with yours.

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BONOLICIOUS2 2/26/2013 12:03PM

    I am cracking up, laughing out loud, this post is glorious! I LOVE IT.

Your honesty is ESPECIALLY APPRECIATED. Yes I was judging because you're fit and pretty and slightly clueless. BAM! HONESTY! Thank youuuuuuuuu!

Thank you for the laugh! Ahhh gym stories!

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LOWFATFOODIE 2/26/2013 11:46AM

    My roommate specifically goes to the gym when its busy because "the odds are better".
This may be why I am still procrastinating going to the gym at all and hiding out in my home gym a full month after joining...

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