Monday, February 25, 2013
I’m so happy that I’ve been in a frame of mind in the past few weeks to make healthier choices again. It’s been a long time coming. I lost my footing for a long time, so long that I reached my highest weight of 268. My greatest fear is that these feelings are temporary and I will completely go back to the bad choices I’ve stepped away from. I’ve lost 8 pounds in the last 3 weeks and I am trying hard to accept it as a victory and not a slow beginning. I have to stop self-deprecating because I deserve to reap the benefits of my hard work and sacrifices. I had promised myself that I would meet my 40’s at my goal after spending 31 years over weight. But unfortunately I met my 40th Birthday at around 240. I had many excuses as to why I couldn’t meet my goals but as another year past those excuses started to get on my nerves. Now that I’ve turned 41 today those excuses are no longer comforting. The walls they have helped me build feels confining and debilitating. I am such a free spirit that conformity is so suffocating. I hold the key to my freedom and I really need to use it.