I had intense sugar cravings today. Some part of my psyche was determined on sabotage! Calories, what? They don't matter. "I want what I want and I want it right now." The sum total of willfulness! However, I told myself not to stress. The calories were much less than what I used to binge on which is progress even though a twisted progress. lol. But, I really need to look at the silver lining. I got more than adequate water today which now I plan on having more to flush some of the sugar and the sodium out. I did get enough protein to offset the sugar metabolism. I have just started cinnamon and chromium to combat insulin resistance. (~The cinnamon will also help with inflammation which is an added bonus)
I am trying to look at the things I have done right as well as the things that I have done wrong. I did go on a walk and stretch well after which will boost my metabolism. I know that the binge motivated me but I feel like I should be doing it more since I really enjoyed it and my inflammation was low so I had very little, if any, real pain. A little stretch before handed would have sorted out some cramping in my thighs. I am making myself look at the good things since I know I do not need to get depressed over this. I am making changes and I know that. I just think that I need to find some reasonable substitutes for the junk when I want to have sugar, get near a vending machine or people are sharing snacks.
For several days now my resolve has been bolstered by asking God for help in the morning with eating. Though there is some part of me that just was completely compulsive about sweets today. The only thing that I can think of today that would trigger that is the fact that I have my nutrition clinic/eating disorder appointment tomorrow which may sound ironic but nerves can do a lot before a body comp. I had an appointment with my psychiatric med provider and I had no problems there. Yet, those appointments can be anxiety provoking.
Tonight, from here on in, I am going to do things to reduce any residual anxiety that might be there with relaxation exercises, a warm bath, possibly a movie or part of a movie so I don't stay up all night~no insomnia allowed! Ha, ha. If I watch a movie I may do my nails which I have been hoping for and also possibly paint a jewelry box of mine. I am not going to cry a river over this. It is a bump in the road which must be accepted because I do not want to make myself miserable over it. Tomorrow I will begin again, no, right now I will begin again and not worry about the mistakes and keep moving on. There is no reason to let this rock the waters.
I may journal but certainly not morosely. I will focus on what I can do like increasing the cut vegies which I have backslid on and planning a course of action for when temptation rises high. I have a plan for over eating desires but I have not been doing anything for serious sugar cravings which need direct and quick intervention, because I can tell you what, I really wanted those sweets today in a big way. Next step is thought blocking. I can use thought blocking on temptation the way I use it on negativity. I need to be prepared for temptation because it will come by more than once. There is nothing more enticing than some sweet treats when caught off guard and in a devil may care state of mind. Time to start having a battle plan. LOL. I can do it. I know I can.
I will use the Sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. I will be preparing myself, instead of lying idly by. I don't want to be hypervigilant, however, some action wouldn't hurt. Hope that my Spark friends might have some ideas where it comes to food temptations and that state where anything sweet sounds good!!! So, please feel free to give me some ideas.
After all of this it becomes water under the bridge. I must move on and stay in the now.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. Romans 8:38, New Living Translation 2007
May the blessing of light be on you - light without and light within.
May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire,
so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it.
And may light shine out of the two eyes of you,
like a candle set in the window of a house,
bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.
And may the blessing of the rain be on you,
may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean,
and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines,
and sometimes a star.
And may the blessing of the earth be on you,
soft under your feet as you pass along the roads,
soft under you as you lie out on it, tired at the end of day;
and may it rest easy over you when, at last, you lie out under it.
May it rest so lightly over you that your soul may be out from under it quickly; up and off and on its way to God.
And now may the Lord bless you, and bless you kindly. Amen.
HOW DEEP THE FATHER'S LOVE FOR US by Stuart Townend
How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
The song is popularly sung by the Christian vocal group Selah and the link to this song on You Tube is:
May your trials be few, your blessings be many and your goals be healthy. We do not walk this road alone. Thank you for your companionship and strength during the joyful and the sad moments.
active link to lyrics
active link to song by Selah