On yesterday's blog, a SparkFriend asked, "How do you think you've been able to keep from gaining all that weight back?" That's a really good question! And it made me think for a little bit!
First, I worked a long time ... all while I was losing the original 150 pounds and each time I regain weight, to work on the feelings that cause me to run to food to solve a problem that crops up in my life. The rational side of my brain knows that food is not going to resolve anything in my life. But, there is still a part of me that turns to food for a quick fix. It never works. So when I use that poor coping skill, I take myself through the paces and determine why I went that route. What was it that tripped me up? What is unsettled in my defense mechanisms that makes me search for food?
Sometimes, I can't get to the bottom of it ... that's one reason why I regain weight from time to time. But each time I take a journey back on the weight loss trail, I figure something else out about myself.
I also got rid of my larger clothes and I won't keep buying clothes past a certain size. Why? Because I simply refuse. Someone is going to ask me why I don't make the size a smaller number. LOL! I suppose I could, but so far, that hasn't worked for me. I seem to be able to manage 40 pounds. I can stop myself there. I haven't been able to stop myself before that. OH HOW I WISH I COULD!!! And I wonder if one day I can! Time will tell!
I really do prefer to eat healthy. I like the foods and they like me. I feel better when I eat foods that help me to stay at a lower weight. When I eat to much of the "fattening" foods, I feel physically sick. Now, that's a good thing!
I have some real life examples when I go home of what I once looked like. Some of my sweetest family members are morbidly obese. Two of my dearest relatives, both younger than me, have broken a foot this year simply by walking. One has a stress fracture, the other rolled her foot. I know that when I was morbidly obese, I injured my feet repeatedly. In the evening, I'd sit down and when I'd stand back up a half hour later, I couldn't feel my feet. I look at my family members and know that I'd be following in their shadow if I were to go back to the same lifestyle they live. I really don't want to do that.
As hard as it is to lose these pounds that I've regained, living life morbidly obese is even harder. I don't want to do that any more. I want to do the hard work of figuring out what is keeping me here at 18 pounds above goal. I want to keep working on getting these last pounds back off. I want to work harder on keeping these pounds off once I get back to goal again.
Being morbidly obese is hard. Losing weight is hard. It's simply a matter of choosing your hard. I'm choosing weight loss and a healthier life!!