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BUTTERFLYGRACE
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Regain ... or NOT!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

On yesterday's blog, a SparkFriend asked, "How do you think you've been able to keep from gaining all that weight back?" That's a really good question! And it made me think for a little bit!

First, I worked a long time ... all while I was losing the original 150 pounds and each time I regain weight, to work on the feelings that cause me to run to food to solve a problem that crops up in my life. The rational side of my brain knows that food is not going to resolve anything in my life. But, there is still a part of me that turns to food for a quick fix. It never works. So when I use that poor coping skill, I take myself through the paces and determine why I went that route. What was it that tripped me up? What is unsettled in my defense mechanisms that makes me search for food?

Sometimes, I can't get to the bottom of it ... that's one reason why I regain weight from time to time. But each time I take a journey back on the weight loss trail, I figure something else out about myself.

I also got rid of my larger clothes and I won't keep buying clothes past a certain size. Why? Because I simply refuse. Someone is going to ask me why I don't make the size a smaller number. LOL! I suppose I could, but so far, that hasn't worked for me. I seem to be able to manage 40 pounds. I can stop myself there. I haven't been able to stop myself before that. OH HOW I WISH I COULD!!! And I wonder if one day I can! Time will tell!

I really do prefer to eat healthy. I like the foods and they like me. I feel better when I eat foods that help me to stay at a lower weight. When I eat to much of the "fattening" foods, I feel physically sick. Now, that's a good thing!

I have some real life examples when I go home of what I once looked like. Some of my sweetest family members are morbidly obese. Two of my dearest relatives, both younger than me, have broken a foot this year simply by walking. One has a stress fracture, the other rolled her foot. I know that when I was morbidly obese, I injured my feet repeatedly. In the evening, I'd sit down and when I'd stand back up a half hour later, I couldn't feel my feet. I look at my family members and know that I'd be following in their shadow if I were to go back to the same lifestyle they live. I really don't want to do that.

As hard as it is to lose these pounds that I've regained, living life morbidly obese is even harder. I don't want to do that any more. I want to do the hard work of figuring out what is keeping me here at 18 pounds above goal. I want to keep working on getting these last pounds back off. I want to work harder on keeping these pounds off once I get back to goal again.

Being morbidly obese is hard. Losing weight is hard. It's simply a matter of choosing your hard. I'm choosing weight loss and a healthier life!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IMEMINE1
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1303 days ago
  • WORKNPROGRESS49
    emoticon emoticon
    1304 days ago
  • COCK-ROBIN
    You're doing wonderful! Never give up, and you'll do great!
    1305 days ago
  • LIVINGFREE19
    You have done so well, and have made such great changes!
    I'm glad you are able to keep from putting it back on, I'm sure it is a struggle everyday.

    Big emoticon
    1308 days ago
  • BABYSMAMA12
    Kathy, I too gain and loose. In my case I had 30 Lbs to loose. It seems that lately I have been gaining and loosing the same 5 lbs. these past few months. I don't have the family situation that you have but I have a DH who does most of the cooking. He is constantly making and buying things that he knows neither one of us needs. He is obese too. It is really hard when you really like to eat everything!

    You are amazing Kathy. As long as you keep telling yourself that you will not follow in your family's path I know that you will succeed.

    emoticon emoticon mm emoticon emoticon


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    Ginny
    1309 days ago
  • FIRECOM
    Thanks., I am in maintenance and all of a sudden, my weight is creeping up a little. Calorie intake is well within range so I will not get down on myself but I will "Just keep on coming on."

    1309 days ago
  • NILLAPEPSI
    Just keep plugging along. We're here with you!! emoticon emoticon
    1309 days ago
  • DISCIPLINE_DOES
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    You're never alone, and whenever you're feeling like things are getting out of hand, you can always call on SP for help! But it sounds like you're doing an amazing job of keeping yourself motivated and on track for success. It's a journey that never ends, even at goal weight. And you're running it well!

    emoticon
    1309 days ago
  • GODS_TEMPLE
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    1309 days ago
  • KARENLEIGH32
    You are doing wonderful, I wish I was only at 40 lbs to loose!
    1309 days ago
  • KARENLEIGH32
    You are doing wonderful, I wish I was only at 40 lbs to loose!
    1309 days ago
  • JULESJET
    When you don't want to be where you have been in the past, the only remaining option is to move forward!
    You are AWESOME, Cathy!
    As you continue to face yourself and your feelings, I think that 40 lbs margin will begin to shrink more!
    You are an inspiration and you can continue to do it!
    emoticon
    1310 days ago
  • GAILANN48
    I hear the determination in your blog, but I think I also hear tears. So I know this'll surprise you (!) but I'm going to stick my neck out and go with my gut instead of my head. :) You're going to be okay, Cathy. You won't go back. I know you're not quite where you want to be, and I know that's frustrating when you keep honestly walking the walk the best you can every day. But you're safe now...you simply know too much to allow yourself to go back, no matter what this life brings.

    And besides all that, you're a leader here. You're not incognito anymore. We "youngsters" are watching, and like it or not, you're a role model. You're a winner.

    If I've misread you, I do apologize. You know I respect and admire you and all that you stand for.

    emoticon :) Gail


    1310 days ago
  • NEEDBU66
    You look at your family members and decide you'd be following in their shadow if you follow their lifestyle they live.

    Congratulations on your decision!
    1310 days ago
  • JULIERAE41
    Figuring out what is keeping you there. I can relate. I seem to sabotage myself every time at a certain point. I too, need to figure out the mental block. Praying you will!

    Way to go on your success thus far, though, Cathy. Really. You are an amazing woman!
    1310 days ago
  • THOMS1
    emoticon emoticon
    1310 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    Great plan! emoticon emoticon
    1310 days ago
  • THE_OLD_ME_150
    emoticon You're definitely an inspiration. It sounds like you have inspiration to not go backwards and to keep moving forward. emoticon
    1310 days ago
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