Monday, February 25, 2013
I was at the gym the other day, doodling around on the arc machine, waiting for my training session to begin. When suddenly, I saw it: the most perfect female stomach I have ever seen, right there in my gym!! I was awed! Not only did her stomach look perfect, but she had a great tan, one this white girl will never achieve in a lifetime. And she sauntered by, wearing a sports bra and tight yoga pants. Again, something I would never be able to do. Such perfection, right in front of me!!
Before you think that I've decided to leave my hubby of 32 years, let me tell you that I can admire a female form, especially if it's my idea of perfection, without wanting to jump the fence. Believe me, I kept my eye on her periodically, wanting to know what she did, so I could copy her every move. She effortlessly talked to her friends while on the bike, her perfect legs pumping like pistons; I clawed my way from one tenth of a mile to another, praying James, the trainer, would get there before I ran out of steam. She sauntered from one machine to another, while I hoped I didn't trip, again, getting off the arc. She didn't even seem to break a sweat, even though I knew she must have put in hours and hours to look that good. Me, a few reps with the weights, and I look like I'm going to pass out. I know, because the gym is plastered with mirrors, and they don't do me any favors.
When James finally arrived, I told him that I found the person I wanted to look like, the body that I had in mind when I started this weight-loss journey. When I finally saw her again, still cycling away, I pointed her out to James, and he told me to stop right there: he said he knew her family, had trained her cousin, and the reason she looked that slim and fit was because she was a Percoset issue... (Am I allowed to say that? If not, I'm sorry, because I don't want to single out a specific company. It's not the drug that's bad, it's how people use it.)
Well, that closed that conversation right off. James works hard for the body he has, and he makes sure I work hard for the body I hope to have one day. He told me to not even think about going down that road. But I kept thinking about this 'perfect specimen' of a woman, and I can see how the easy fix is so appealing to so many people. Take a pill, sprinkle a powder, let someone else do your thinking for you, and all your weight problems will be gone. It always sounds so easy! And have to admit, I do wish some days that this process was easier than it has been, than it will continue to be in the future. Some days it seems like I work so hard, and the scale doesn't budge. Or I dream of the foods I have given up, the foods that I no longer call my friend. Or I think of my poor knees, of the aching days, the uncomfortable nights I have had since I joined SP.
But like another other quick fix, the results will stop as soon as the fix is taken away. I'm really not the type of person who wants to be on any sort of pill the rest of my life, who would so willingly give away my power of choice to live my own life, even if it means giving up donuts and brownies forever. So I will keep looking for this perfect-looking woman when I'm at the gym, and I'm sure I'll heave a few sighs of disappointment that I don't look like that. But at the end of the day, I know I'll be better for it.