Monday, February 25, 2013
So swim workouts did not happen last week. I couldn't find my swim goggles and had to buy a new pair on Saturday. I also managed to order a swim cap, duffel bag, combo lock, and a shower caddy so I can start using the showers at the Y and their lockers. This should get me set to use their pool at least 2-3 times a week. I couldn't buy any of this stuff until I got my tax return. I also need a new basic 1-piece suit that I hope to get before Thursday, but if not my regular suit will work in a pinch.
I did manage to get on the bike 3 times though. 10 miles each Monday and Wednesday, and then almost 7 miles on Saturday. I used a different bike on Saturday and I felt a LOT more resistance than on my normal bike, so it was a little more challenging. I'm sure it's good to switch it up though.
Still can't review my Polar HR monitor though and won't be able to if I keep forgetting to BRING IT WITH ME. Sheesh. Hopefully I can let you all know about it by Friday if I can remember it Wednesday and Thursday.
I am getting a little frustrated with my lack of progress, but I think that's mostly impatience. I went crazy in the middle of the month, made too big of a leap in mileage on the bike, and now I'm paying for it. The progress IS there. Instead of one 15-mile ride, I'm up to 27 miles for the week. But I just want to be able to do a 15 mile ride and bounce right back the next day, and unfortunately that is not going to happen anytime soon and I just need to deal with it.
For example, I did the 2 10-mile rides Monday and Wednesday. Thursday, I was wiped out. I ended up just going straight home after work and napping on the couch. I had an important appointment on Friday and work was stressful and I just did not have the energy. It wasn't a "I don't want to" it was a "if I go I am going to struggle, only give a small amount of effort, and just feel worse afterwards." And I felt guilty for that. And that stinks. Because it's not a question of willpower. I am fired up and ready to go work out today. I know I can tell the difference between genuine rest vs. being lazy...I just need to have more faith in myself that it's OK to listen to my body and that I will be able to recover faster one of these days.
I REALLY want to do my first triathlon on June 8th. It's near B's hometown. It's a 1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike, and 3.1 mile run sprint triathlon. Is that too close of a goal for the progress I'm making? Am I pushing myself too hard? I will start swimming this week and adding that to the biking until the week of April 8 (6-7 weeks). Then I add running to it and do all 3 until June the 8th. Is that too ambitious? There are others I'm interested in doing, including one July 28th and possibly September 7th, but I really wanted the one on the 8th to be my first one. Thoughts?
Regardless, getting exercise in is not an issue. I enjoy it and as long as I'm energized, I really look forward to it. Food, on the other hand, is a constant problem. The past few weekends there have just been way too many sugar treats around for my liking. During the week, I am a stoic unmovable beast, even when there were 3 days last week full of cake, doughnuts, popcorn, etc. Friday I even managed to get fruit in the middle of the array of sugary stuff and just stick to my normal breakfast. But Subways' store locator failed me on my way to an important appointment and in my frustration and due to time constraints, I ended up at Wendys for my second cheeseburger in two weeks. For once, I was mildy tempted to go healthy with their chili and baked potatoes (which is PROGRESS, trust me), but it still wasn't strong enough to override my cheeseburger love. I can drive by a Wendys all day long and stay strong, but if I walk in through the door it's just not happening.
And then this weekend. B and his Cadbury mini-eggs. The mini chocolate chips that still live at my house. And the delicious enchiladas recipe I got from my parents and ate way too many of.
I know I can do this. I know I'm successful at it all week long. Today I am eating Subway for lunch and won't bat an eye about it. They could keep those cupcakes beside my cube all week long and I'd probably make it. But it's like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to the weekends. I guess because of the disruption in routine. And because with going to his house twice a month, I can't guarantee B's got healthy options at his house (he is King of the frozen pizzas, after all).
But it's all excuses. I know that. I know I can bring healthy food with me and B won't care. I've done it before. I know I can still have my weekly sushi and some alcohol on the weekends as long as I watch everything else and I will STILL LOSE WEIGHT. But it's the "everything else" I've got to fight myself for.
This is the point, like before, where I would usually just give up for a few months. But it's not happening this time. It make take a little effort, but I WILL break this pattern and will do better. Even if it takes a little time, it's better than giving up completely.
Maybe I should do something different in March. Maybe I should put away the scale, focus on improving my fitness, and staying at or under 1800 calories a day at least 5 or 6 days out of the week. I keep telling myself I'm trying to focus on my health, but I keep worrying about the scale instead. So perhaps I should let my clothes, my energy, and everything else tell me how I'm doing for once.