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Me Vs. Food Monster

Monday, February 25, 2013

So swim workouts did not happen last week. I couldn't find my swim goggles and had to buy a new pair on Saturday. I also managed to order a swim cap, duffel bag, combo lock, and a shower caddy so I can start using the showers at the Y and their lockers. This should get me set to use their pool at least 2-3 times a week. I couldn't buy any of this stuff until I got my tax return. I also need a new basic 1-piece suit that I hope to get before Thursday, but if not my regular suit will work in a pinch.

I did manage to get on the bike 3 times though. 10 miles each Monday and Wednesday, and then almost 7 miles on Saturday. I used a different bike on Saturday and I felt a LOT more resistance than on my normal bike, so it was a little more challenging. I'm sure it's good to switch it up though.

Still can't review my Polar HR monitor though and won't be able to if I keep forgetting to BRING IT WITH ME. Sheesh. Hopefully I can let you all know about it by Friday if I can remember it Wednesday and Thursday.

I am getting a little frustrated with my lack of progress, but I think that's mostly impatience. I went crazy in the middle of the month, made too big of a leap in mileage on the bike, and now I'm paying for it. The progress IS there. Instead of one 15-mile ride, I'm up to 27 miles for the week. But I just want to be able to do a 15 mile ride and bounce right back the next day, and unfortunately that is not going to happen anytime soon and I just need to deal with it.

For example, I did the 2 10-mile rides Monday and Wednesday. Thursday, I was wiped out. I ended up just going straight home after work and napping on the couch. I had an important appointment on Friday and work was stressful and I just did not have the energy. It wasn't a "I don't want to" it was a "if I go I am going to struggle, only give a small amount of effort, and just feel worse afterwards." And I felt guilty for that. And that stinks. Because it's not a question of willpower. I am fired up and ready to go work out today. I know I can tell the difference between genuine rest vs. being lazy...I just need to have more faith in myself that it's OK to listen to my body and that I will be able to recover faster one of these days.

I REALLY want to do my first triathlon on June 8th. It's near B's hometown. It's a 1/2 mile swim, 15 mile bike, and 3.1 mile run sprint triathlon. Is that too close of a goal for the progress I'm making? Am I pushing myself too hard? I will start swimming this week and adding that to the biking until the week of April 8 (6-7 weeks). Then I add running to it and do all 3 until June the 8th. Is that too ambitious? There are others I'm interested in doing, including one July 28th and possibly September 7th, but I really wanted the one on the 8th to be my first one. Thoughts?


Regardless, getting exercise in is not an issue. I enjoy it and as long as I'm energized, I really look forward to it. Food, on the other hand, is a constant problem. The past few weekends there have just been way too many sugar treats around for my liking. During the week, I am a stoic unmovable beast, even when there were 3 days last week full of cake, doughnuts, popcorn, etc. Friday I even managed to get fruit in the middle of the array of sugary stuff and just stick to my normal breakfast. But Subways' store locator failed me on my way to an important appointment and in my frustration and due to time constraints, I ended up at Wendys for my second cheeseburger in two weeks. For once, I was mildy tempted to go healthy with their chili and baked potatoes (which is PROGRESS, trust me), but it still wasn't strong enough to override my cheeseburger love. I can drive by a Wendys all day long and stay strong, but if I walk in through the door it's just not happening.

And then this weekend. B and his Cadbury mini-eggs. The mini chocolate chips that still live at my house. And the delicious enchiladas recipe I got from my parents and ate way too many of.

I know I can do this. I know I'm successful at it all week long. Today I am eating Subway for lunch and won't bat an eye about it. They could keep those cupcakes beside my cube all week long and I'd probably make it. But it's like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to the weekends. I guess because of the disruption in routine. And because with going to his house twice a month, I can't guarantee B's got healthy options at his house (he is King of the frozen pizzas, after all).

But it's all excuses. I know that. I know I can bring healthy food with me and B won't care. I've done it before. I know I can still have my weekly sushi and some alcohol on the weekends as long as I watch everything else and I will STILL LOSE WEIGHT. But it's the "everything else" I've got to fight myself for.


This is the point, like before, where I would usually just give up for a few months. But it's not happening this time. It make take a little effort, but I WILL break this pattern and will do better. Even if it takes a little time, it's better than giving up completely.

Maybe I should do something different in March. Maybe I should put away the scale, focus on improving my fitness, and staying at or under 1800 calories a day at least 5 or 6 days out of the week. I keep telling myself I'm trying to focus on my health, but I keep worrying about the scale instead. So perhaps I should let my clothes, my energy, and everything else tell me how I'm doing for once.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Cheeseburger voice is pretty hard to ignore, it gets pretty whiny when you say no to it. I'll have to look up what Wendy's burgers clock in at calorie wise. McDonald's double cheeseburger comes in at 450, but it doesn't quite do the job of filling me up, leaving me open for a snack attack.
    1847 days ago
    It's good that you know the difference between "I don't want to exercise" and "I don't have the energy to do it right." Giving your body rest is IMPORTANT. Any trainer or athlete will tell you this. Don't feel guilty! Working yourself too hard is just as bad as not working out at all.

    If you're worried about the June triathlon being too soon, then don't stress yourself and push yourself too hard. I think the September one is a good goal to reach for. You can sent monthly and weekly distance goals to achieve so when it comes, you know you'll be ready.

    The food temptations are really hard! I think we all can relate to that. What really helped me is to be prepared when eating out instead of trying to say no to eating out at all. First thing I did when I started this journey was make a list of all the places I and my friends enjoyed eating at, and I made a list of all the options those places had that were 500 calories or less, then 300 calories or less. This way if I ever found myself without a prepared lunch or in the middle of a social meal, I could make decisions that wouldn't ruin me for the day. For example, a small chili and a sour cream and chives potato at Wendy's is 520 calories combined, or you could just have one for less than that and not have to worry about a cheeseburger ruining your day. You'd be surprised how much that kind of knowledge helps and motivates.

    The other thing is to just have convenient healthy choices waiting at home. I usually bulk cook and separate into convenient meal and snack-sized containers that I just have to heat up and eat. You can do the same thing with snacks like apple slices and half a tablespoon of peanut butter in a ready-to-go baggie. This can satisfy the immediate desire and helps track the calories. I always keep a 100 calorie snack in my purse, whether that be a zip-lock of pretzels, an apple or banana, or what have you. You'd be surprised how much it helps!

    You can always start small, too. Instead of saying NO MORE JUNK FOOD FROM NOW ON! You can start by going a day without, then two days, then three, then a week, then a month, etc etc. Until it gets easier. Just remember not to beat yourself up and whenever you're tempted, ask yourself is it really worth it?

    It sounds like you're making great progress nonetheless and you should be proud of yourself! Not all success can be measured by the scale! Hang in there!
    1848 days ago
    That has been my problem for the longest. Awesome during the week, off track on the weekends. Great fitness, less great nutrition. That works for me for a while but before long, I'll lose a pound during the week and just gain it back over the weekend. . . Over and over and over! To break my plateau, I had to make the weekends mirror the rest of the week and just generally bucke down on nutrition. emoticon
    1849 days ago
    Sometimes I purposely eat at the low end of my calories all week so that I can blow-out on the weekend. I certainly wouldn't recommend it all the time, but if your range is 300-350 calories, and you consistently eat 250 calories less than the top of your range M-F, you've got an extra 1250 calories to expend on the weekend. I actually think that it's good for your body, because it doesn't think that you are starving it.

    On the other hand, you have to be really good at coming back from your binges. If you are a person who starts eating and then cannot stop for a week, this is not a good technique for you.
    1849 days ago
    It's a tough battle....sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. The key is to keep fighting, and you're attitude shows that you've got a fight or 2 in you!

    Consistent exercising should help. While you can't work off a bad diet, as you ramp up the exercise, hopefully, your body will crave better foods.'

    Stay strong!
    1849 days ago
    I'm considering the same strategy for March. Except I'm part of the BLC--which has weekly weigh ins. Impatience is my Achilles heel.
    1849 days ago
    I battle the Food Monster all the time, so I feel your pain! Your activity level is really impressive, though - seriously! I like that you acknowledge how you would have given up in the past. Sounds like you're doing well mentally, even if you don't really feel like you are. emoticon
    1849 days ago
    27 miles in a week is AMAZING! Progress can be slow, but so long as it goes in the right direction, its still progress. Good on you for not letting it get to you. Good luck in swimming.
    1849 days ago
    Congratulations on your plan to exercise and get fit. You have to trust the progress, things may not progress at your rate, but they will progress.
    1849 days ago
    I think you're doing really well. It's so easy, in this process, to lose sight of how far we've come. Prior to your healthy living journey, you probably would have eaten a Wendy's burger plus a few extras, right? So just be pleased with yourself that you stopped at 1 burger. It's easier to give that advice than to practice it, I know.
    1849 days ago
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